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Band 3

You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flatmates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success.

#student #english #language #school #brighton #accommodation #flatmates #water #time #landlord’s #workmen #success
Dear Sir, I would like to notify
Correct pronoun usage
you on
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on
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of
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 an issue regarding
faulty
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a faulty
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 room heating
system
 in your premises
that is
 causing serious concern to
peaceful
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the peaceful
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 stay of myself and my friends. For the past 6 weeks, the heating
system
is
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has been
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 failing repeatedly leading to
lack
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a lack
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 of hot water and
room
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a room
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 heating
system
. We appreciate your support in sending workmen to attend
these
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to these
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 faults,
however
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however,
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 the problems still continue to persist and causing hindrance to our peaceful stay at your home. With the upcoming cold season, we are really
conerned
Correct your spelling
concerned
 with
non availability
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non-availability
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 of hot water and
room
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a room
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 heating
system
. As per the professionals, the geyser is faulty and beyond repairable condition ,
thus
 necessitating a complete replacement to solve the issue completely. So ,
i
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I
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 hereby request you to
do hereby
Verb problem
apply
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oblige
with
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apply
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the
tenant
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tenant's
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 contractual requirements of maintaining the
facilites
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facilities
 to enable
peaceful
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a peaceful
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 stay for the occupants. Expecting your continued usual support and Thanks. Your's Faithfully, Venkatesh
Submitted by pdvenk76 on

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Structure
Use a variety of sentence structures to improve clarity and readability.
Grammar
Be consistent with verb tenses to enhance the overall coherence.
Content
Consider adding more specific examples or detailing the attempts made to solve the heating issue for a more persuasive argument.
Grammar
Check for occasional spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'conerned' which should be 'concerned', to increase the professionalism of your letter.
Content
Provided a clear complaint about the issue, making the main point understandable.
Solution
Included suggestion for solving the problem, i.e., replacing the geyser, contributing to task achievement.
Tone
Maintained a polite and formal tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for the context.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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