"Finding it hard to remember important facts and figures? Improve your memory in 10 weeks with our Memory Course. Places are limited and the course is available for only a short time." You see the above advertisement for a course designed to help improve your memory. Write a letter to organisers of the course. In the letter: - Give some background information about yourself - Explain your own problems and why you would like to do the course. - enquire about the methods used on the course - enquire about course fees and dates.

Dear Sir or Madam, I have read the advertisement for your Memory Course and I am very concerned about your curriculum. I am a full-time mom with one toddler at the moment. Before I used to work as a teacher. After my pregnancy, I left my job and invested my time in my family. Now my baby is turning 2 years old and I am going to send him to kindergarten so that I can be back to work.
However
, the problem is that after giving birth, I have had memory issues. I frequently forget things and my to-do lists, which is affecting seriously my life.
That is
why I really care about the workshop you have given. It would be of great help if you
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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me with more details about the approaches that you use in
this
course. I’m wondering if the methods are suitable for me or not.
In addition
, could you please give me information about how much the tuition for
this
class cost
as well as
when it begins
.
Change the punctuation
?
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I am going to start my new job in the next 3 months so I want to make sure to finish the course before I am ready to work. I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Crystal
Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address each question or bullet point from the task to ensure full task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
For enhanced coherence, consider linking your ideas more smoothly from one paragraph to the next, using a wider range of cohesive devices.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your letter generally follows a coherent structure, adding more varied sentence structures and transitions could further bolster its flow.
Greeting and Closing
Provided an effective introduction and closing, following the conventions of a formal letter.
Task Achievement
Successfully addressed the prompts given in the task with relevant details about your situation and inquiries.
Single Idea per Paragraph
Maintained a single idea per paragraph, aiding in the readability and organization of the letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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