The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies

The table provides key information about

female

Correct article usage

the female

show examples

senior management engagement ratio in

Eldan

Lit,

Bamforth

Ltd

and

Finsbusy

Correct your spelling

Finsbury

Ltd

companies over the course of 40

years

from 1975 to 2015.

Overall

, It is clear from the graph that

Eldan

Ltd

Change noun form

Ltd's

show examples

business represents the highest

percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

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women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

participation throughout the period.

In addition

Finsbury

Ltd

company

showed a gradual

increase

Whereas

Bamforth

Ltd

company

demonstrated a significant

increase

over the course.

According to

what is shown, females in

Eldan

Ltd

company

showed a remind proportion in the first 5

years

then

in the next 10

years

Add a comma

years,

show examples

the percentages increased significantly, approximately to the third in 1990.

additionally

, in 2000 the ratio showed a modest

increase

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

33%.

While

Change the preposition

show examples

the end of the

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

the percentage increased to double by 64%. In terms of other

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

Bamforth

Ltd

and

Finsbury

Ltd

, Females showed a high ratio in the first five

years

conversely

Eldan

Ltd

company

However

, by the next ten

years

Add a comma

years,

show examples

both companies contributed a slight

increase

about

Change preposition

of about

show examples

15% for

Bamforth

Ltd

as well as

22% for

Finsbury

Ltd

companies.

Moreover

Bamforth

Ltd

showed a rapid

increase

almost

Change preposition

of almost

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

half about 46%.

While

Finsbury

Ltd

showed a slight

increase

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

26 in 2015.

Submitted by zaidamrat5 on Mon May 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words eldan, bamforth, ltd, years, finsbury, company, increase with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 8 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter •inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; •explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; •suggest what he/she should bring to work.

Society now has the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world, due to the improvement of automation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the government help prevent debt problems and support such people.

These days people in some countries are living in a “throwaway” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. What do you think is the cause and what problem will it lead to?