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Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.
#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies
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The table provides key information about
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
 senior management engagement ratio in
Eldan
Use synonyms
 Lit,
Bamforth
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Ltd
Use synonyms
 and
Finsbusy
Correct your spelling
Finsbury
Ltd
Use synonyms
 companies over the course of 40
years
Use synonyms
 from 1975 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is clear from the graph that
Eldan
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Use synonyms
Ltd
Change noun form
Ltd's
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 business represents the highest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
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 of
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 participation throughout the period.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Finsbury
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Ltd
Use synonyms
company
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 showed a gradual
increase
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Bamforth
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Ltd
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 demonstrated a significant
increase
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 over the course.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, females in
Eldan
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Ltd
Use synonyms
company
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 showed a remind proportion in the first 5
years
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.
then
Linking Words
 in the next 10
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
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 the percentages increased significantly, approximately to the third in 1990.
additionally
Linking Words
, in 2000 the ratio showed a modest
increase
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around
Change preposition
of around
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 33%.
While
Linking Words
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 the percentage increased to double by 64%. In terms of other
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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Bamforth
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Ltd
Use synonyms
 and
Finsbury
Use synonyms
Ltd
Use synonyms
, Females showed a high ratio in the first five
years
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conversely
Linking Words
 to
Eldan
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Ltd
Use synonyms
company
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.
However
Linking Words
, by the next ten
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 both companies contributed a slight
increase
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about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 15% for
Bamforth
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Ltd
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 22% for
Finsbury
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Ltd
Use synonyms
 companies.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Bamforth
Use synonyms
Ltd
Use synonyms
 showed a rapid
increase
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almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half about 46%.
While
Linking Words
Finsbury
Use synonyms
Ltd
Use synonyms
 showed a slight
increase
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 26 in 2015.
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words eldan, bamforth, ltd, years, finsbury, company, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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