IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization
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It is argued that working in an international
organisation
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 is one of the best
ways
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 of becoming aware of different
cultures
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 worldwide. I partially agree with
this
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 point of view. Undeniably, working for an international
organisation
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 enhances the understanding of other
cultures
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. The first reason is that multinational organisations promote cultural understanding because these organisations consist of people from all over the world, and they can learn about the customs and traditions of different countries once working in a mixed culture environment. Exposing to other languages is
also
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 likely to give a much greater depth of understanding of a culture.
However
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, there are a number of
ways
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 for why it is not the best way to understand other
cultures
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. On the one hand, there was no direct link between working multinationals and cultural understanding promotion. Exposure to different
cultures
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 depends on multiple factors, including social ability, current position in work and language skills, those factors have significant impacts considering that not everyone has the chance to have frequent contact with other
cultures
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.
On the other hand
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, other excellent
ways
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 exist to achieve
such
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 a goal of understanding
cultures
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, examples include studying or travelling abroad, all of those
ways
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 provide the opportunity to meet and spend time with people from other countries and will eventually promote the understanding of other
cultures
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. In conclusion,
although
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 working for an international
organisation
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 enhances the understanding of other
cultures
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, I believe that it is not essential to assume that the best way is to work for a multinational
organisation
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.
Submitted by zhaogen448 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your overall position; it seemed a bit ambiguous.
task achievement
Work on expanding and clarifying your main points with specific examples to better support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain cohesion throughout your paragraphs by using a wider variety of linking devices.
grammatical range
Vary your sentence structures to add complexity and avoid repetitiveness.
task achievement
Develop your conclusion further by reinforcing your position with a summary of your main points.
lexical resource
Use a broader lexical range to more precisely express complex ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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