4) In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries, home ownership
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has greater importance than paying rent.
This
is because many feel a
mortgage
is a better investment for the future,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
I do not believe
this
is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
advantageous because it reduces a person’s freedom.
Millions
Add the preposition
Millions of
show examples
people
take out a
mortgage
on a home each year because they want to save for the future. They think each
mortgage
payment contributes to their
overall
net worth and
this
money cannot be taken away from them.
This
is because each month they reduce the size of the loan and
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
their equity in the property and many use
this
fund
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
retirement.
For example
, many Indian immigrants living in Canada detest paying rent because they feel it is wasted money.
However
, I think a
mortgage
dramatically reduces one’s life choices.
That is
say that monthly payments on a house loan must be paid no matter what, or the person may have their home taken from them.
This
relentless pressure to pay on time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
means that
people
stay in steady jobs rather than taking
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
of starting a new career, becoming an entrepreneur, or travelling the world.
For instance
,
this
is one of the main reasons why young
people
are far more likely to change their life paths than older
people
because they are less likely to be punished by banks for taking risks. In conclusion,
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
property will always be the preferred option for
people
who believe taking out a huge bank loan on real estate is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
long-term investment,
however
, I disagree because of the opportunity cost,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
involves
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving up the chance to make our own choices in life.
Submitted by mohammad39 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure more to improve readability and interest. Try including more complex structures or varying the length and type of sentences you use.
Lexical Resource
Look for opportunities to use a wider range of vocabulary. This could involve using synonyms for words you frequently use or incorporating more advanced vocabulary to convey your ideas more precisely.
Grammar
Be careful with spelling and minor grammatical errors, such as the correct spelling of 'owning' instead of 'owing'. These small inaccuracies can distract from the overall quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
To further strengthen your argument, try to present a counterargument before stating your own perspective. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic and enhance the quality of your task achievement.
Structure
You've done a great job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Example Usage
Your essay provided relevant examples to support your points, which helped in illustrating your arguments effectively.
Task Response
You successfully maintained focus on the essay prompt, ensuring all parts of the question were addressed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeownership
  • Property ladder
  • Real estate
  • Mortgage
  • Equity
  • Inflation hedge
  • Stability
  • Long-term investment
  • Asset
  • Liability
  • Housing market
  • Tenure
  • Down payment
  • Property taxes
  • Maintenance costs
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