4) In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #home #people #be #case #development

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In many countries, home ownership

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has greater importance than paying rent.

This

is because many feel a

mortgage

is a better investment for the future,

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

I do not believe

this

Change the article

apply

show examples

advantageous because it reduces a person’s freedom.

Millions

Add the preposition

Millions of

show examples

people

take out a

mortgage

on a home each year because they want to save for the future. They think each

mortgage

payment contributes to their

overall

net worth and

this

money cannot be taken away from them.

This

is because each month they reduce the size of the loan and

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

their equity in the property and many use

this

fund

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

retirement.

For example

, many Indian immigrants living in Canada detest paying rent because they feel it is wasted money.

However

, I think a

mortgage

dramatically reduces one’s life choices.

That is

say that monthly payments on a house loan must be paid no matter what, or the person may have their home taken from them.

This

relentless pressure to pay on time

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apply

show examples

means that

people

stay in steady jobs rather than taking

risk

Correct article usage

the risk

show examples

of starting a new career, becoming an entrepreneur, or travelling the world.

For instance

this

is one of the main reasons why young

people

are far more likely to change their life paths than older

people

because they are less likely to be punished by banks for taking risks. In conclusion,

owing

Correct your spelling

owning

show examples

property will always be the preferred option for

people

who believe taking out a huge bank loan on real estate is

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

long-term investment,

however

, I disagree because of the opportunity cost,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

involves

Change preposition

apply

show examples

giving up the chance to make our own choices in life.

Submitted by mohammad39 on Mon May 06 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structure more to improve readability and interest. Try including more complex structures or varying the length and type of sentences you use.

Lexical Resource

Look for opportunities to use a wider range of vocabulary. This could involve using synonyms for words you frequently use or incorporating more advanced vocabulary to convey your ideas more precisely.

Grammar

Be careful with spelling and minor grammatical errors, such as the correct spelling of 'owning' instead of 'owing'. These small inaccuracies can distract from the overall quality of your writing.

Task Achievement

To further strengthen your argument, try to present a counterargument before stating your own perspective. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic and enhance the quality of your task achievement.

Structure

You've done a great job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Example Usage

Your essay provided relevant examples to support your points, which helped in illustrating your arguments effectively.

Task Response

You successfully maintained focus on the essay prompt, ensuring all parts of the question were addressed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Homeownership
Property ladder
Real estate
Mortgage
Equity
Inflation hedge
Stability
Long-term investment
Asset
Liability
Housing market
Tenure
Down payment
Property taxes
Maintenance costs

What to do next:

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4) In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growth of online shopping will lead to the day when all offline shops will disappear. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that the government should spend money on helping undeveloped countries instead of spending money on increasing military strength, as they do not face risks of war.