The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014
the chart displays the annual fees spent by people who visited New Zealand from 5 countries between
1996and
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1996 and
2014.
Overall
,Australian people
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
by far the most popular
visitors'
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visitors charges
charges
after2002
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after 2002
,
although
the USA
also
show
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
arise
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a rise
show examples
in visitors' expenses .
While
fewer individuals' fees from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,Japan and China went to New Zealand over the two decades. In 1996,The Australian
charges
for visitors were the highest expenses around 1000NZ$every year,the
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American
Amirican
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American
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
less than
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
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Australians
show examples
Australian
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Australians
show examples
with a slight difference.
While
there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a fewer
spender
Fix the agreement mistake
spenders
show examples
from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
and Japan charge around 500NZ.Despite the fact ,
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no
charges
paied
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paid
by
Correct article usage
the chinese
show examples
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
in the same year
But
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
a rise over the 8 next year at almost
500NZ$
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500
charges
.The British females and males
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
thir
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their
charges
a little bit until 2002 and
then
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
significantly to almost 1000NZ$ in 2014. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japanese men and women
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
the same amount of money
annulay
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annually
between the two
decads
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decades
show examples
approximatly
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approximately
500NZ$despite the obvious increase in 2002
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
1000NZ$.the
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
charges
on visiting show a gradual
increaseover
Correct your spelling
increase over
1500NZ$ from 1996 to 2010then they reduce by 500NZ$in 2014
Submitted by moonymum0011 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words charges, nz with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditure
  • tourism revenue
  • spending trends
  • economic impact
  • visitor spend
  • tourism sector
  • peak spending
  • fluctuations
  • incline/decline in spending
  • monetary contribution
  • tourist demographics
  • economic conditions
  • tourism campaigns
  • statistical analysis
  • data interpretation
  • fiscal year
  • extrapolate data
  • spending patterns
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