Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

It is a common view that modern
technology
has bridged the gap between
people
while
others argue that it has made relationships between
people
become worse.
This
writer holds the belief that the
relationship
of humans become worse
as a result
of today's
technology
. On the
one
hand,
technology
brings many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
humans and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society,
one
of them is that
people
can call and talk to their relatives, families and friends around the world anytime, anywhere, whenever they want without any barrier.
This
will help make
people
have a better
relationship
and keep in touch with each other when they are apart. On the
one
hand,
people
nowadays are becoming more and more addicted to
technology
devices like smartphones and social media and refuse to stop
depend
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depending
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on them. Nowadays,
instead
of going out with families or hanging out with friends and siblings, we tend to stay at home talking through the screen, and
this
will accidentally push us apart when we do not notice. The screens will become an invisible barrier in
people
's relationships and slowly widen the gaps between humans
due to
the fact that the population need to meet up
face
to
face
when communicating with each other and we
also
use body language and actions to communicate. Talking through the screens will make
people
become shallow
on
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in
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thoughts and emotions and feel isolated for being alone,
this
can make
people
feel lonely or
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
become fear of
communicate
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communicating
show examples
face
to
face
. in my opinion, I believe that
technology
will make
people
have a worse
relationship
than a better
one
and
people
should only use
technology
devices and social media to contact and stay in touch with each other when they are not staying in the same area or nations.
In addition
,
people
should meet up when they have
Correct article usage
a chances
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
instead
of calling through phone or apps, being close to together and looking at each other is a good way to narrow the gaps in a
relationship
.
To conclude
,
although
technology
help
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helps
show examples
people
to contact
with
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apply
show examples
one
another immediately
in
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at
show examples
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
,
this
is a huge
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
for many
people
, but
this
is
also
the major reason that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
gradually
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
distant.
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relevant specific examples
Your essay should include more specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, mention particular apps or social platforms that have both unified and divided people.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammatical consistency and sentence structure. Some sentences could be rephrased for clarity and sophistication.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your argument.
complete response
The essay addresses both viewpoints, showing an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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