IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. IN your email -Recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn -Explain how your friend could learn this sport -Suggest that you both learn this sport together.

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email #-recommend #-explain #-suggest
Dear Ronald, I am glad to hear from you, and I hope you have been keeping well! It’s great that you want to learn a new
sport
 and want a suggestion about it from me.
To begin
, I have known you
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the past 20 years, and I vividly remember that we used to play
cricket
, a lot together. I know you are very much interested in
this
sport
 and have good stamina to play as well.
Therefore
, I would
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 you to learn
cricket
.
Also
, there are various
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 in which you could practice
this
sport
 in our town.
Firstly
, there is a world-class
cricket
 academy in our town called
khan academy
Correct your spelling
Khan Academy
show examples
. I had enrolled for their training and can definitely vouch that they have experienced instructors, who will teach you the ins and outs
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
sport
.
Secondly
, there is
cricket
Correct article usage
a cricket
show examples
 stadium on the outskirts of the town, which organizes tournaments every month, where you could connect with other
sportsperson
Fix the agreement mistake
sportspersons
show examples
.
Additionally
, I wish to join
along with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you in
this
 academy as I have
tournament
Add an article
a tournament
show examples
 next year. Playing together, not only will we be able to improve our sports, but
also
 cherish our old memories. I am looking forward to your reply. Yours lovingly, Nirav
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Maintain a consistent tense throughout your letter to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider structuring your email in more defined paragraphs, separating your introduction, recommendation, explanation, and conclusion for better readability.
Lexical Resource
Explore using a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate your lexical resource and grammatical range.
Task Achievement
You effectively fulfilled the task by recommending a new sport, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting learning it together. This shows great task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter makes good use of cohesive devices and follows a logical sequence, which aids in coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your recommendations, which enhances your task completion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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