IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#plans #show #ground #floor #time #information #features #comparisons
The
plans
 illustrate how change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the ground floor
plans
 between
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
,
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
 and
flower
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 in various years from 1958 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
.
Overall
, it can be seen from the
plans
 that the
rooms
 in
this
 plan
was change
Change the verb form
was changed
show examples
 to other
rooms
 in every period. The
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
 will
show
Wrong verb form
be shown
show examples
 in
this
 essay.
According to
 the
plans
, the
types
 of
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 in
plans
 were changed from
office
 to
apartment
 to other
types
, except
kitchen
Correct article usage
the kitchen
show examples
room
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
corner
Add an article
the corner
a corner
show examples
 in 1985.
Additionally
, the
rooms
 in
apartment
Add an article
the apartment
show examples
 have very
types
such
 as living
room
, bathroom and shower, bathroom 1, bathroom 2 and
kitchen
 that
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 change from the original.
Next,
apartment
Add an article
the apartment
show examples
 was
insteaded
Correct your spelling
instead
intended
 with
flower
Add an article
a flower
show examples
 shop in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2001.
Moreover
, the plan of
flower
Correct article usage
the flower
show examples
 shop still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
kitchen
Add an article
a kitchen
the kitchen
show examples
 as same as the
office
 in 1958.
In contrast
, the
types
 of
rooms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 changed to Gift cards,
flower
Fix the agreement mistake
flowers
show examples
, play
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
 until
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
.
To conclude
, the ground floor of
building
Add an article
the building
show examples
 still
remain
Verb problem
has
show examples
kitchen
Correct article usage
a kitchen
show examples
room
 at the corner of
plan
Add an article
the plan
a plan
show examples
 as same as year 1958.
Submitted by kran0630482559 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the changes without getting into too much detail initially. Begin with a brief summary of what the plans illustrate.
Body Paragraphs
Develop main body paragraphs that clearly differentiate between each period's floor plan changes, ensuring a logical progression from one period to the next.
Linking Words
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall cohesion.
Conclusion
Conclude the essay by summarizing the main changes and maintaining a clear focus on how these changes reflect the overall development over time.
Task Response
The essay addressed the transformation of the ground floor from an office to an apartment and then to a flower shop, covering the main task.
Content Focus
Main points such as the constant presence of the kitchen room are identified, which helps in focusing on significant changes.
Organizational Attempt
The attempt to create a logical structure by dividing changes per period is commendable, laying a foundation for a coherent response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: