There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a well-established fact that
students
experience a lot of pressure in order to succeed academically, and due to
this
reason non-academic subjects
should be excluded from the school syllabus, so students
would be able to focus on academic subjects
only. I personally believe that those lessons should be included to
the schedule of Change preposition
in
students
. There are two principal reasons for this
.
One point that I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that at
non-academic Change preposition
in
subjects
students
can communicate with their peers and find maybe friends for life because there is a huge probability of having the same kinds of hobbies and interests.
Adding further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact that all the time studying academic subjects
can lead to the
burnout. What I mean by Correct article usage
apply
this
is that due to
the academic pressure students
already experience a lot
mental health issues and if they cannot spend Add the preposition
lot of
few
hours a day relaxing and doing things that they like can lead to Correct article usage
a few
such
psychological problems as depression, apathy and so on. Also
, they may just quit all their studies.
Turning to the other side of the argument focusing only on important subjects
may improve their knowledge and scores substantially. What I mean by this
is that students
will spend way more time studying and improving their knowledge Change preposition
of
on
academic Change preposition
of
subjects
because they will not Correct your spelling
have
ave
other things to do.
In conclusion, by taking into account all the above-mentioned reasons, I once again reaffirm my position that non-academic Correct your spelling
have
subjects
are imprortant
for Correct your spelling
important
students
, especially for their mental well-being.Submitted by Ayan on
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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. Use a mix of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate linguistic flexibility.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to include more specific examples or case studies to substantiate your arguments. This could involve citing research, statistics, or concrete outcomes observed in educational systems.
task achievement
While you've made a strong overall argument, ensuring a balanced view by expanding on the counter-argument could strengthen your essay. Providing a more developed analysis of the opposing viewpoint before reasserting your own could make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion and clearly states your viewpoint, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with a clear distinction between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance on the importance of non-academic subjects for students' well-being.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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