Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ).To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In these years,
women
are able to work all day as men
. Some individuals think that women
and men
ought to divide their domestic tasks equally such
as looking after children, cleaning
. From my Correct word choice
and cleaning
perspecive
, Correct your spelling
perspective
men
should undertake more responsibilities of house income.
There are two essential points which can its advantages outshine the disadvantages. Firstly
, men
's job
can be tougher than Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
women
's job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
due to
ability
of Correct article usage
the ability
Correct article usage
the human's
human's
body. Change noun form
human
Women
can have some problems while
they are trying to find jobs
. For instance
, a company which is about construction is looking for some
employees that Correct quantifier usage
apply
capable
of Add a missing verb
are capable
carry
heavy bricks. It is obvious that they would prefer the worker that male because of his muscles, and it can lead them to be Change the verb form
carrying
kneckered
after their job. Correct your spelling
knackered
Therefore
, they might not be able to houshold
missions after their shift and it can lead Correct your spelling
household
women
to make most of the domestic jobs
.
Secondly
, women
's nature is more polite and pratics
than Correct your spelling
pratic
men
's such
as women
's ability at manual works
is much better than Fix the agreement mistake
work
men
's without any doubts. It can lead women
to make more stuffs
at home. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
While
male people can take some responsibilities about
washing or cleaning, they might not be as good as Change preposition
for
women
at looking after children. For example
, nowadays, having a baby has numerous hardships for both women
and men
, but when we look at the hardest jobs
, women
can be more accountable to take that
Correct determiner usage
those
jobs
because of their talents at this
kind of staffs
. Fix the agreement mistake
staff
As a result
, women
can be more capable of household task
.
In conclusion, nowadays, Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
women
can work as long as men
can. Therefore
, some people say two genders should share their house jobs
fifty fifty
. I do not Add a hyphen
fifty-fifty
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
this
idea that Correct determiner usage
the
men
should take more responsible
for house profits and Replace the word
responsibility
women
ought to undertake Correct word choice
that women
househould
Correct your spelling
household
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
due to
their capabilities.Submitted by hsmkashi on
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task achievement
Develop your arguments by providing clearer, more specific examples that directly support your viewpoint.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations about gender roles and capabilities unless they are directly relevant and substantiated within the context of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for clearer expression.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic directly and maintained relevance to the prompt throughout your essay.