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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The two maps illustrate the
road
Use synonyms
 network around a
City
Use synonyms
 Hospital in 2007 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the
road
Use synonyms
 access to the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital was upgraded in 2010 with the addition of a
bus
Use synonyms
 station, two roundabouts and a separate public
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
. In 2007, the hospital
road
Use synonyms
, which had three
bus
Use synonyms
 stops on either
side
Use synonyms
, was connected to the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 and to the ring
road
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a common
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was located on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
, and it served both the public and staff members. In 2010, some significant changes could be seen.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the common
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was assigned exclusively to the hospital staff,
while
Linking Words
 a novel public
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was established on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the hospital.
Secondly
Linking Words
, two roundabouts had been constructed at both ends of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
; one at the intersection with the ring
road
Use synonyms
 and the other at the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 junction.
Finally
Linking Words
, the three
bus
Use synonyms
 stops on either
side
Use synonyms
 had been removed, and a new
bus
Use synonyms
 station was constructed on the west
side
Use synonyms
 of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
 with connections to both newly built roundabouts.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, bus, car, park, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • improvements
  • facilitate
  • congestion
  • junctions
  • streamline
  • traffic flow
  • reduce congestion
  • public transport
  • bus station
  • efficiency
  • accessibility
  • parking facilities
  • car park
  • designated
  • alleviate
  • issues
  • adequate space
  • enhancements
  • overall accessibility
  • traffic management
  • convenience
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