Today’s food travel thousands of miles before it reaches the customer. Some people say that it would be better for the economy and environment if people ate food produced from local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

You have planned to go on
camping
Add an article
a camping
show examples
holiday for
this
summer
vacation with your family, Thank you for asking
help
Change preposition
for help
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and you know very well
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
I
have gone
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
to The Nilgiris
last
month
furthermore
, I would like to explain the importance of places and events to enjoy
this
holidays. I would like to say
, There
Correct your spelling
that there
are many places visit to in the Nilgiris Primary, You should visit
botanical
Correct article usage
the botanical
show examples
garden because of total area
300
Add a missing verb
is 300
show examples
hectares, and it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
divided into three divisions
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Rose Garden there are different types of roses and Horticulture division it was so wonderful for children's because the plants are shaped like elephant, Lion, Monkey and bear
additionally
Trees and Green houses for trees many more varieties of trees never seen in your life and Greenhouse plants are very cute and attractive.
Secondary
Replace the word
Secondly
show examples
, You should go for boating is 2 kilometres trip between the
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
you can see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lots of animals
have come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and drink the water near the river and it will give more happiness to your family.
Also
, I was disappointed
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
and local transport (auto's).
Furthermore
, In the botanical garden and boating area hotels are not hygienic and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
taste food
additionally
, very high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
moreover
, local transport
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
available but
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
are very high
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
summer
season and my advice
is stay
Change the verb form
is to stay
show examples
paying
Change preposition
at paying
show examples
guest house with food and 2 days before
book
Wrong verb form
booking
show examples
the local transport vehicle. We miss
this
summer
holiday with your family because we have planned to go
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
hometown and we will plan to go next
year
Change noun form
year's
show examples
summer
holidays and,
In
Change preposition
During
show examples
this
vacation, I believe that you and your family will
joy
Verb problem
be
show examples
full
Correct word choice
joyful
show examples
and
happennies
Correct your spelling
happenings
addittionally
Correct your spelling
additionally
never forgettable moment in your life. Best wishes, Mohan K
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Structure
Consider revising the structure of your essay to include a more traditional format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure aids in clarity and flow of information.
Paragraph Use
Use paragraphs to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should center around a single main idea or topic, which can significantly improve the readability and coherence of your essay.
Language Use
Work on refining your use of English, focusing on grammar, punctuation, and the accuracy of word choice. This can greatly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Relevance
Try to maintain a clear focus throughout your essay, ensuring each point is relevant to the main topic. This will help in achieving a higher score for task response.
Detail Use
You've provided specific examples and details about the Nilgiris, which enriches your essay with valuable information.
Personal Touch
Your enthusiasm and personal insights add a unique perspective to the essay, making it engaging to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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