Today’s food travel thousands of miles before it reaches the customer. Some people say that it would be better for the economy and environment if people ate food produced from local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?
You have planned to go on
camping
holiday for Add an article
a camping
this
summer
vacation with your family, Thank you for asking help
Change preposition
for help
to
Change preposition
apply
me
and you know very well Correct pronoun usage
apply
about
I Change preposition
that
have gone
to The Nilgiris Wrong verb form
went
last
month furthermore
, I would like to explain the importance of places and events to enjoy this
holidays.
I would like to say, There
are many places visit to in the Nilgiris Primary, You should visit Correct your spelling
that there
botanical
garden because of total area Correct article usage
the botanical
300
hectares, and it Add a missing verb
is 300
was
divided into three divisions Wrong verb form
is
for
Change preposition
apply
that
Rose Garden there are different types of roses and Horticulture division it was so wonderful for children's because the plants are shaped like elephant, Lion, Monkey and bear Correct determiner usage
apply
additionally
Trees and Green houses for trees many more varieties of trees never seen in your life and Greenhouse plants are very cute and attractive. Secondary
, You should go for boating is 2 kilometres trip between the Replace the word
Secondly
trip
you can see Fix the agreement mistake
trips
the
lots of animals Correct article usage
apply
have come
and drink the water near the river and it will give more happiness to your family.
Verb problem
apply
Also
, I was disappointed for
Change preposition
with
food
and local transport (auto's). Correct article usage
the food
Furthermore
, In the botanical garden and boating area hotels are not hygienic and not
taste food Add a missing verb
do not
additionally
, very high price
. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
moreover
, local transport not
available but Add a missing verb
is not
prices
are very high Correct article usage
the prices
in
Change preposition
apply
this
summer
season and my advice is stay
Change the verb form
is to stay
paying
guest house with food and 2 days before Change preposition
at paying
book
the local transport vehicle.
We miss Wrong verb form
booking
this
summer
holiday with your family because we have planned to go my
hometown and we will plan to go next Change preposition
to my
year
Change noun form
year's
summer
holidays and, In
Change preposition
During
this
vacation, I believe that you and your family will joy
Verb problem
be
full
and Correct word choice
joyful
happennies
Correct your spelling
happenings
addittionally
never forgettable moment in your life.
Best wishes,
Mohan KCorrect your spelling
additionally
Submitted by insighttribez on
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Structure
Consider revising the structure of your essay to include a more traditional format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure aids in clarity and flow of information.
Paragraph Use
Use paragraphs to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should center around a single main idea or topic, which can significantly improve the readability and coherence of your essay.
Language Use
Work on refining your use of English, focusing on grammar, punctuation, and the accuracy of word choice. This can greatly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Relevance
Try to maintain a clear focus throughout your essay, ensuring each point is relevant to the main topic. This will help in achieving a higher score for task response.
Detail Use
You've provided specific examples and details about the Nilgiris, which enriches your essay with valuable information.
Personal Touch
Your enthusiasm and personal insights add a unique perspective to the essay, making it engaging to read.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.