Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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It is controversial that people nowadays no longer
retrieved
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retrieve
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information from
a conventional ways
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a conventional way
conventional ways
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such
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as reading
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
or watching TV
news
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programmes, yet they get
news
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about the world from the
Internet
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instead
Linking Words
. The reason why I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
news
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through
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
a positive impact will be elaborated on in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, it may
seems
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seem
show examples
sensible for some to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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that the traditional ways of getting
news
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as mentioned in the previous paragraph can be somewhat outdated in
this
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globalization world as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lifestyle
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lifestyles
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change.
This
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is possibly because of the invention of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and technologies that
makes
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make
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people
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
less. In
this
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respect, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evident show
Replace the word
evidence showing
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that
youngster
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youngsters
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and even adults prefer to get the
news
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online rather than
reading
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read
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it
on
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in
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the paper or watch
a programmes
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programmes
a programme
show examples
.
However
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, I personally argue in favour of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reading
news
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through
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
can be
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
means of getting information seeing that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
real-time
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
and
convenience
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convenient
show examples
. Take
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
: a thousand of real-time information pop up within a second
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
a single click on your phone is much faster than finding a
newspaper
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is undeniable that today's people may not
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
nor
Correct word choice
or
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watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
a news
the news
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report on TV and prefer to get
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
from the
internet
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more than before
due to
Linking Words
its fast updates and convenience.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Include a wider range of examples and evidence to support your arguments. This could strengthen your task response score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving paragraph transitions to make the progression of ideas smoother and more natural.
Coherence and Cohesion
A conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position clearly to strengthen the overall coherence.
Task Achievement
You have clearly taken a position and maintained it throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay displays a good attempt at organizing ideas logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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