In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?
In recent times, the matter of
children
has been a topic of debate. While
in some countries, people nowadays spend less time with children
and what are the causes of this
. Whom does this
affect more, parents
or children
.
In Change the punctuation
?
this
essay, I will explore both perspectives before giving personal
opinion.
Add an article
a personal
One
the Correct your spelling
On
one
hand, if we fully analyze and explain why many individuals cause
wish Verb problem
apply
this
opinion , the first and main reason can be that parents
work because they want to provide the
lives of their Change preposition
for the
children
. For example
, they studied at a good university and studied different language courses. In other words
, parents
want their future children
to become brilliant.
One
the other side of the coin, people who Correct your spelling
On
cause
with Verb problem
agree
this
point of view that most children
today lead a sedentary lifestyle. For instance
, they spend most of their time on a computer, mobile phone or tablet. In addition
to this
, children
become isolated.
In light of above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
facts
Add a comma
facts,
one
can reach a conclusion that even though children
need to spend days wish
their Correct your spelling
with
parents
often. Thus
it is highly recommended to
Change preposition
that
children
would
study well.Verb problem
apply
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on
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Clarity & Relevance
Consider focusing your essay more precisely on the question's topics, which are the causes of spending little time with children and its greater impact on parents or children.
Support & Examples
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Both the causes of the issue and its effects on children and parents need clearer examples.
Intro & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay question. Summarise your main points and opinion more explicitly at the end.
Structure & Flow
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphing, each focused on a single main idea. Also, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of your essay.
Balanced Argument
You have attempted to cover both sides of the argument, showing an effort to analyze the issue from different perspectives.
Topic Understanding
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and an attempt to discuss the relevant issues, highlighting the importance of parent-child time.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?