In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?

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In recent times, the matter of
children
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has been a topic of debate.
While
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in some countries, people nowadays spend less time with
children
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and what are the causes of
this
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. Whom does
this
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affect more,
parents
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or
children
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.
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?
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In
this
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essay, I will explore both perspectives before giving
personal
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a personal
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opinion.
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One
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On
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the
one
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hand, if we fully analyze and explain why many individuals
cause
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apply
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wish
this
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opinion , the first and main reason can be that
parents
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work because they want to provide
the
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for the
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lives of their
children
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.
For example
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, they studied at a good university and studied different language courses.
In other words
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,
parents
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want their future
children
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to become brilliant.
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One
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On
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the other side of the coin, people who
cause
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agree
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with
this
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point of view that most
children
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today lead a sedentary lifestyle.
For instance
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, they spend most of their time on a computer, mobile phone or tablet.
In addition
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to
this
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,
children
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become isolated. In light of
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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facts
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facts,
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one
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can reach a conclusion that even though
children
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need to spend days
wish
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with
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their
parents
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often.
Thus
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it is highly recommended
to
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that
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children
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would
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apply
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study well.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Clarity & Relevance
Consider focusing your essay more precisely on the question's topics, which are the causes of spending little time with children and its greater impact on parents or children.
Support & Examples
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Both the causes of the issue and its effects on children and parents need clearer examples.
Intro & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay question. Summarise your main points and opinion more explicitly at the end.
Structure & Flow
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphing, each focused on a single main idea. Also, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of your essay.
Balanced Argument
You have attempted to cover both sides of the argument, showing an effort to analyze the issue from different perspectives.
Topic Understanding
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and an attempt to discuss the relevant issues, highlighting the importance of parent-child time.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work demands
  • longer working hours
  • digital technology
  • screen time
  • urbanization
  • commuting times
  • emotional distance
  • parental guidance
  • harmful behaviors
  • guilt
  • stress
  • missed opportunities
  • development
  • emotional well-being
  • social skills
  • family dynamics
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