In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?

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In recent times, the matter of

children

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has been a topic of debate.

While

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in some countries, people nowadays spend less time with

children

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and what are the causes of

this

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. Whom does

this

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affect more,

parents

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children

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show examples

this

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essay, I will explore both perspectives before giving

personal

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a personal

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opinion.

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One

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the

one

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hand, if we fully analyze and explain why many individuals

cause

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apply

show examples

wish

this

Linking Words

opinion , the first and main reason can be that

parents

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work because they want to provide

the

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for the

show examples

lives of their

children

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For example

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, they studied at a good university and studied different language courses.

In other words

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parents

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want their future

children

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to become brilliant.

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One

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show examples

the other side of the coin, people who

cause

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agree

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with

this

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point of view that most

children

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today lead a sedentary lifestyle.

For instance

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, they spend most of their time on a computer, mobile phone or tablet.

In addition

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this

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children

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become isolated. In light of

above mentioned

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above-mentioned

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facts

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facts,

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one

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can reach a conclusion that even though

children

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need to spend days

wish

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with

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their

parents

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often.

Thus

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it is highly recommended

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that

show examples

children

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would

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apply

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study well.

nazirovmuhammad71Tue May 07 2024

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Clarity & Relevance

Consider focusing your essay more precisely on the question's topics, which are the causes of spending little time with children and its greater impact on parents or children.

Support & Examples

Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Both the causes of the issue and its effects on children and parents need clearer examples.

Intro & Conclusion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay question. Summarise your main points and opinion more explicitly at the end.

Structure & Flow

Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphing, each focused on a single main idea. Also, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of your essay.

Balanced Argument

You have attempted to cover both sides of the argument, showing an effort to analyze the issue from different perspectives.

Topic Understanding

Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and an attempt to discuss the relevant issues, highlighting the importance of parent-child time.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work demands
longer working hours
digital technology
screen time
urbanization
commuting times
emotional distance
parental guidance
harmful behaviors
guilt
stress
missed opportunities
development
emotional well-being
social skills
family dynamics

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In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?

Your opinion

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your friend bought tickets to the theatre for both of you. Write a letter to a friend to tell him that you cannot go to theatre. In your letter -Apologize -Explain the situation -Tell him what he can do with the extra ticket.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and living expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantaged of this development outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to society, while others think people have more responsibilitie as member of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?