Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the 21st century, poverty is still prevailing in some

countries

Use synonyms

and they are faced with various diseases. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

most of these illnesses are curable,

people

Use synonyms

are not able to purchase them. I personally believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

medicines should be given at decreased prices by the drug manufacturers

To begin

Linking Words

with,

people

Use synonyms

should help each other to overcome difficulties and make sure everyone

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

the same place

Change preposition

show examples

the earth. In that aspect, medical industries should not only look at the profits that they gain by selling drugs but

also

Linking Words

the prosperity of all the

people

Use synonyms

not

restricting

Change the form of the verb

restricted

show examples

to their customers. Thereby, medicines can be given to poor

countries

Use synonyms

that can be affordable to every person.

This

Linking Words

shows that humanity is a major factor that

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be considered in the

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

sectors.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there will be

an indirect opportunities

Correct the article-noun agreement

an indirect opportunity

indirect opportunities

show examples

when reducing the price of medical items in some

countries

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, if drug manufacturing companies provide their medicines very cheaply,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will admire that work and

as a result

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that company will gain more reputation.

This

Linking Words

will indirectly increase the selling of companies and a lot of job opportunities will be created within those regions. In that

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

health

as well as

Linking Words

the development of the

individuals

Fix the agreement mistake

individual

show examples

lives

Replace the word

life

show examples

can be upgraded. In conclusion, it has to be agreed that, it is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

responsibility of pharmaceutical producers to help the

countries

Use synonyms

which are beaten by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty.

Subsequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will be advantageous for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

all the parties that are engaged in

this

Linking Words

great commitment.

wm.asanka.sandaruwanTue May 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. While your overall argument is clear and well-reasoned, incorporating detailed instances or case studies can make your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Although your essay flows well, incorporating a wider range of sentence types could improve its overall impact.

task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear stance on the issue and backing it up with reasoned arguments. This is a strong aspect of task response.

coherence cohesion

You've maintained a good logical flow throughout the essay, connecting ideas smoothly which is crucial for coherence and cohesion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

257 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Pharmaceuticals
Generic drugs
Patent laws
Healthcare disparity
Subsidies
Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
Intellectual property
Epidemiology
Affordability
Global health initiatives
Corporate social responsibility

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
There is a that social neworking platforms such as Facebook or Instagram have affected negatively on societal values and the users themselves. This writer firmly disagrees with the statement due to the lack of communication and updating irrelevant news would be true if these sites were vanished.
4.5
band
Adult youths are often called up for working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid other say that they should not be pair. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Young people often obtain a calling up for contributiion communities' development. I strongly believe this case in one hand brings positive impact such as raising awareness in society and training their capabilities social, but in another hand, it also has negative impact such as make youth be exploited illegally without obtaining any funding.
6
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
I totally agree with the opinion that children need to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. However, I strongly believe that physical punishment is not the right way to teach this. Instead, children should be taught through explanation and guidance by their parents and teachers.To help children understand what is right and wrong, it is important to give them clear explanations. Simply telling children what is wrong is not enough; they need to understand why certain behaviours are not acceptable. For example, explaining why it’s wrong to hit others helps children develop empathy, rather than just punishing them. This way, they can make better decisions in the future.
7
band
Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the priority of the government is spending expenditure to extend the quality of private vehicle roads like cars and motors instead of investing in the transport system of the community. From my perspective, I partly disagree with this statement due to some reasons and providing a concluding view for both phenomena following the essay.
8
band
Violence in the media promotes violence in society to what extent do you agree or disagree.
In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding the impacts of media and TV has become a prominent topic. Some people believe that the brutality content shown in the media has a direct influence on the violence occurring in the country. From my perspective, I completely agree with this point of view.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Adult youths are often called up for working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid other say that they should not be pair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Violence in the media promotes violence in society to what extent do you agree or disagree.