Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

can have a negative effect on human

health

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. A lot of processed

food

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and privilege contains massive amounts of

sugar

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, and it

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

diseases. Increasing the prices of

sugar

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can help keep people away from buying sugary meals. I think the government should increase

taxes

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sugar

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to reduce diseases, like diabetes and obesity, and to encourage restaurants to

use

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healthy

alternatives

Use synonyms

sugar

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. My contention will be

further

Linking Words

explained. To embark on, increasing

taxes

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sugar

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can help decrease the rate of diseases,

such

Linking Words

as obesity and diabetes.

In other words

Linking Words

, sugary

food

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considered

Add a missing verb

is considered

show examples

to be unhealthy, because it can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

human

health

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negatively, and it is linked to the occurrence of chronic disease.

for example

Linking Words

, a published article studied the effect of

sugar

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on human

health

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, and it revealed,

not

Correct word choice

that not

show examples

only that

sugar

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caused

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

serious illness, but

also

Linking Words

had a

harmfully

Change the word

harmful

show examples

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

IQ of young

children’s

Change noun form

children

show examples

hence

Linking Words

, eating less

sugar

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can aid in avoiding serious

health

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problems.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if the government

put

Wrong verb form

puts

show examples

high

taxes

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sugar

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, some restaurants will not be able to

use

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it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, reducing the amount of unhealthy

food

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, and encourages them to

use

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other healthy

alternatives

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sugar

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, like honey, stevia, and date

sugar

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. A prime example, a study done by doctors in India showed that the

use

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of healthy sugars can reduce glucose levels in diabetic patients, and reduce the prevalence of obesity.

Hence

Linking Words

, increasing

taxes

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sugar

Use synonyms

not only

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will encourage people to

use

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healthy

alternatives

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, but

also

Linking Words

will make people in society consume sweet drinks and

food

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without negative impact on their

health

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. In conclusion, increasing

taxes

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sugar

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will decrease the consumption of sugary

food

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and drinks,

additionally

Linking Words

, It will encourage restaurants to

use

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other healthy

alternatives

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. To restate my opinion, I think it is a good step to put high

taxes

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sugar

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, so we can have a healthier community.

Selfigih7Tue May 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on using a variety of complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow.

task achievement

Consider revising for minor grammar and punctuation errors to improve the professionalism of writing.

task achievement

Expand your examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. Detailed, real-world examples can significantly enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the consistency of tense and voice throughout your essay to maintain coherence.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed the essay question, providing a clear opinion and supporting arguments.

task achievement

Good use of examples to support your arguments, enhancing the essay’s persuasive effectiveness.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible sollutions?

Some people think that the best way to improve safety is by reducing the maximum speed limits on vehicles others think there are other better ways. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.