It is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
the
people want to know Correct article usage
apply
how
it was Correct word choice
what
the
Correct article usage
apply
live
in past. To do that they would have Replace the word
life
somany
Correct your spelling
so many
ways
, such
as video record
, films or written documents. Wrong verb form
recording
How ever
, some of Correct your spelling
However
this
Correct determiner usage
these
sourcesdoes
Correct your spelling
sources
not
support a lot of information or Change the verb form
do not
did not
it
might be wrong. So, Correct pronoun usage
they
this
essay will discuss the tow
Correct your spelling
two
ways
. Which was mentioned earlier.
One of these ways
is video recording which is a good way
to describe the
living in the past. Correct article usage
apply
Itcan
Correct your spelling
It can
involves
the the community tradition, Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
how
Correct word choice
and how
do
they Verb problem
apply
survive
in the pastWrong verb form
survived
?
, what they wear and absolutely Change the punctuation
.
there
pictures and voices. Correct your spelling
their
Also
that linking them to us Add a comma
Also,
in
the right time by those films. Filming in that time was awful ,not clear and the voices almost can be heard by the audience. But it is an amazing Change preposition
at
way
to doucment
Correct your spelling
document
there
Replace the word
their
lives
.
Second
Add an article
The second
way
is the written documents that
Correct pronoun usage
which
is
not my Change the verb form
are
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
way
to learn about the people who was
lived in the past. Some of Unnecessary verb
apply
writers
change so many facts and names . Actually, in past there Add an article
the writers
was
people who Change the verb form
were
can
Wrong verb form
could
they
change a community Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
lies. As Change preposition
through
Correct article usage
a documentary
documentary
he will not know if the one Add a comma
documentary,
infront
of him if he lies or not any Correct your spelling
in front
way
he will write what ever
has been told to him. So, in my Correct your spelling
whatever
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
its
a 50% fact inside these document books.
Replace the word
it's
it is
On
conclusion Change preposition
In
tow
Correct your spelling
two
ways
of document
the past Wrong verb form
documenting
live
Replace the word
life
was
good to be Correct subject-verb agreement
were
in
aware of Change preposition
apply
there
Correct your spelling
their
lives
for our time . From my own personal point in
Change preposition
of
view
I think the filming was a great method to describe Add a comma
view,
there
Correct your spelling
their
lives
. And its
better to make Correct your spelling
it's
whole
world Change the article
the whole
to
watch Fix the infinitive
apply
there
Correct your spelling
their
lives
.Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on
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structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with an introduction, two or more body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
support
Consider using specific examples to support your points about the advantages of learning history through films and the limitations of written documents.
grammar
Review and correct grammatical errors and improve punctuation to enhance readability.
task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt by explicitly stating to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement and why.
content
You've shown an understanding of the comparison between learning from films, video records, and written documents.
effort
Your engagement with the topic shows a good effort to present your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.