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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In today's world, the spread of computer use has changed our way of living so that people can buy many things through the Internet. Discuss some advantages and disadvantages of Internet shopping.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 modern
world
Use synonyms
, we believe the most device will
be change
Change the verb form
change
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 some
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
like able
Correct your spelling
likeable
show examples
 to buy goods
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 buy through
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 are at a loss. for the following reasons.
Body paragraph 1
shoping online has
provide
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provided
show examples
 a lot
Change preposition
of thing
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 can find what
them
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
 want to buy, because easier to order through
platfrom
Correct your spelling
platforms
,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 shoope, lazada,
buka lapak
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Buka Lapak
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, tokopedia,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize word
In
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 addition others utilize
plafrom
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Plafrom
show examples
 so that no need
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
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 out buies at physical
shope
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 we no need using car only waiting at home.
Body paragraph 2
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that, some
people
Use synonyms
agrue
Correct your spelling
argue
agree
 online
shope
Use synonyms
 will kill physical
shope
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 recent
world
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 extreamly choose buies some things by
platfrom makeing
Correct your spelling
platforms making
 physical
shope
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quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as shop
properti
Correct your spelling
properties
, small
shope
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, and
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
show examples
.
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 online
shope
Use synonyms
 will be
killer
Correct article usage
a killer
show examples
 income
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 wich still stand
shope
Use synonyms
 offline,
therefore
Linking Words
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a few
oppertunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
such
Linking Words
 as we unabel pay later.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we must
relize
Correct your spelling
realize
realise
deplove
Correct your spelling
deploy
deplore
world
Use synonyms
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 year to year the most
shopciated
Correct your spelling
associated
. in
this
Linking Words
 modern
Use synonyms
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 a lot using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and from our
people
Use synonyms
 must
following
Change the verb form
follow
be following
show examples
 to do
anyitng
Correct your spelling
anything
,
thererfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
 we must learn
concercing
Correct your spelling
concerning
such
Linking Words
 as how to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, how to look for information.
Conclusion
in conclusion,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and
disvantege
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 but depend on each other
ultilize
Correct your spelling
ultimately
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
platfrom
Correct your spelling
platform
.

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structure
Focus on clarity and organization in your writing. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence
Review and refine your use of transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
cohesion
For better coherence, structure your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs (each covering a specific point), and conclusion.
argument support
Ensure each paragraph supports a single main idea with examples or explanations. This enhances the essay's coherence and cohesion.
task response
Revisit the task's requirements and make sure to address all parts of the prompt evenly, including advantages and disadvantages of internet shopping.
accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors, which can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task relevance
You provided a relevant topic concerning internet shopping, showing an understanding of the task.
balance
Attempt to present both sides of the argument shows a balanced approach to the essay topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Retail therapy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Logistics
  • Omni-channel shopping experience
  • Digital wallet
  • User interface
  • Customer satisfaction
  • Product reviews
  • Return policy
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Social commerce
  • Virtual fitting room
  • Marketplace
  • Shopping cart abandonment
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