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Band 2

some people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an individual's carer than gaining work experience immediately after high school. to what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #university #carer #work #school
moreover
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moreover,
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 people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an
individuals
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individual's
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carer
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career
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,
whereas
 gaining work experience after high school .
to begin
firstly
, nowadays higher studies
is
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are
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 more
imporent
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important
 to
futhure
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future
 life
such
 as , students seek more knowledge creative thinking and problem
sloving
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solving
 skills,essential for many
proffessions
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professions
professionals
.
Inaddition
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In addition
 University degrees often provide a competitive edge in the job market,which leads to more opportunities and higher salaries ,
moreover
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 Certain professions require a university degree as a minimum qualification, making it impossible to enter these fields without higher education.
secondly
,Immediate work can lead to earlier financial independence and the potential for career advancement without the burden of student debt .
In addition
 some industries practical experience is more valued than academic qualifications, making work experience immediately after high school preferable.
To conclude
 , both the ways as
a consequences
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consequences
a consequence
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Lifelong
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of Lifelong
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 learning and the combination of both academic and practical experiences can lead to a well-rounded career.
Submitted by guntimounika3619 on

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Introduction
Consider using a clear introductory statement to present the essay topic and your stance on it. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Aim to develop your main points with more specific examples or evidence. While you mentioned the significance of higher education and work experience, integrating real-world examples or data can strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use transitional words or phrases to connect these ideas smoothly and enhance readability.
Conclusion
Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your stance in a clear manner. This leaves a lasting impression on the reader and provides closure to your essay.
Task Achievement
You've acknowledged the importance of both higher education and hands-on work experience in shaping a successful career. It's excellent to present a balanced viewpoint.
Vocabulary
Using terms like 'creative thinking', 'problem solving skills', and 'financial independence' helps to touch upon the diverse benefits of education and work experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • competitive edge
  • job market
  • minimum qualification
  • financial independence
  • student debt
  • practical skills
  • real-world knowledge
  • career advancement
  • industries
  • academic qualifications
  • lifelong learning
  • well-rounded
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