IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Should student pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society? To extant do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 education advantages individuals rather than society,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learners should pay the full cost for their own
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 author will show my reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
Body · 1
It is vital to understand that spending more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 studying at
university
Use synonyms
 will help students have better school facilities for their study
such
Linking Words
 as television, chemical
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and physical
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when learners study in
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 studying atmosphere, they can do their best and
also
Linking Words
 have high
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 in the future.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, your career will be easier for you to get a better job.
In other words
Linking Words
,
studying
Change preposition
by studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 and
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
 cost,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will
be having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 good facilities
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 I mentioned before. So it will be easier for
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to get good jobs with high career.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you studying
Change preposition
at a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 RMIT
Use synonyms
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
, your profile will be
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
 to accept for a job in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big company.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the benefits of
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 studying
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 undeniable, it will help
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 have better facilities and
also
Linking Words
 their future jobs will be better.

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Sentence Structure
To strengthen your essay, focus on diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Consider the use of complex sentences and varying your sentence beginnings to make your argument more engaging.
Argument Development
To improve task achievement, ensure you cover both sides of the argument to some extent, even if you are taking a clear stance. Including counterarguments or acknowledging the opposite view can make your response more balanced and comprehensive.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas. While your current word choice communicates the general idea, richer vocabulary will make your argument more compelling and nuanced.
Relevance to Prompt
Make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt throughout. It's important to provide specific examples and details relevant to the question, linking them clearly back to your main argument.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task at hand.
Structure
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring your argument effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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