Should student pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society? To extant do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
education advantages individuals rather than society,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learners should pay the full cost for their own
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
This
author will show my reason why I agree with
this
opinion. It is vital to understand that spending more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
studying at
university
will help students have better school facilities for their study
such
as television, chemical
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
and physical
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
.
Moreover
, when learners study in
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
studying atmosphere, they can do their best and
also
have high
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
in the future.
Secondly
, your career will be easier for you to get a better job.
In other words
,
studying
Change preposition
by studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
university
and
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
cost,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will
be having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
good facilities
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
I mentioned before. So it will be easier for
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to get good jobs with high career.
For instance
, when you studying
Change preposition
at a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
RMIT
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
, your profile will be
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
to accept for a job in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big company. In conclusion, the benefits of
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
studying
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
undeniable, it will help
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
have better facilities and
also
their future jobs will be better.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentence Structure
To strengthen your essay, focus on diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Consider the use of complex sentences and varying your sentence beginnings to make your argument more engaging.
Argument Development
To improve task achievement, ensure you cover both sides of the argument to some extent, even if you are taking a clear stance. Including counterarguments or acknowledging the opposite view can make your response more balanced and comprehensive.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas. While your current word choice communicates the general idea, richer vocabulary will make your argument more compelling and nuanced.
Relevance to Prompt
Make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt throughout. It's important to provide specific examples and details relevant to the question, linking them clearly back to your main argument.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task at hand.
Structure
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring your argument effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: