Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
that students may pay the amount of
money
for their own learning than society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the education’s
university
have more benefits for students. In my perspective, I agree with
this
statement and will explain in the following essay. It is vital to understand that studying at
university
will
gain
Verb problem
give
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more
benefit
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benefits
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things.
This
is because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
the
university
,
people
can learn more lesson depth about the field and can concentrate on the job they chose.
Besides
that, studying at
university
can have more
changes
Correct your spelling
chances
show examples
to try different jobs in many fields.
Moreover
, when individuals finish the process of
Add an article
the lesson
a lesson
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
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they can get a certification
of
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from
show examples
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
. Thanks to that certification
people
easily
to
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apply
show examples
get
job
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jobs
show examples
or have more opportunities to apply
the
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to the
show examples
company after
leave
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leaving
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there.
For example
,
according to
the database,
person
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people
show examples
, who have a certification, have more
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
to apply successfully than
people
who
have
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do have
show examples
not a degree. Another point to consider is that paying
money
for study can help
people
get more knowledge and
experiences
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experience
show examples
.
Furthermore
, after
left
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
university
, many
people
can work in a big company or business
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
other countries with a high salary.
Additionally
, investing
money
in society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
a good idea. But it
also
goes
Verb problem
comes
show examples
with many
risk
Change to a plural noun
risks
show examples
in many problems. If they do not know how to use
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
money
, they can be
fool
Wrong verb form
fooled
show examples
by the other ones. For there, spending
money
on society
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not
safety
Replace the word
as safe
show examples
as many
people
always think. In conclusion, spending
money
on
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good way to lead to
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
. But
people
also
have noticed how to use
money
responsible
Change the word
responsibly
show examples
to improve themselves.
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development of ideas
Consider developing your ideas more thoroughly by providing more in-depth examples and explanations that directly support your main argument. This will help to fully address the prompt and enhance the clarity of your position.
sentence structure
Work on varying your sentence structure to improve the flow of your essay. Mixing complex and simple sentences can make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
grammar and spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to maintain the professionalism and readability of your essay. Common errors can distract from your argument and reduce the clarity of your message.
structure
You've structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in organising your thoughts and presenting them logically.
use of examples
You've effectively used examples to support your points, demonstrating an understanding of how specific details can strengthen an argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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