IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Students should pay the full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
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Students
Use synonyms
 should pay the full price for their own class courses because
academy
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academic
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education
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benefits
Use synonyms
 individuals rather than society.It is the opinion of
this
Linking Words
 writer that
students
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 should pay the full cost for their own
study
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 rather than
university
Use synonyms
education
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benefits
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. It is vital to understand that pay the full cost for their own
study
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.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
students
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 should be using their own finances to pay the full cost
for
Change preposition
of
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study
Use synonyms
,the
university
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education
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 perks would be very extremely hard to get.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 should focus on their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and improve their abilities.
Therefore
Linking Words
,the
benefits
Use synonyms
 of
university
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education
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 were extremely challenging to have because a hundred
students
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 want to get it,precisely
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason makes
students
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 very
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
. Another key component of the case for
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
benefits
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.It should be self-evident that having
benefits
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 will help
students
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 a lot when they
study
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,everyone in
university
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 wants to get it because of the value it brings to them a lot that makes them fight each other to get it. In conclusion, admission
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to focus on their
university
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 studies,and the
benefits
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 of a
university
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education
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 are extremely challenging to get.Even,though it will bring a lot of motivation
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the price is very challenging which makes
students
Use synonyms
 very stressed when they studying.
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details. It seemed some sections were repeating similar ideas without clear distinctions or examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly with transitional phrases to improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Try to address the essay prompt more directly, discussing both sides of the argument to fully respond to the question. It appears the essay leans towards one perspective without sufficiently exploring the opposite viewpoint or the prompt's statement about societal benefits.
language
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression. Correct use of language enhances the quality and comprehension of your points.
structure
You've made an effort to structure your essay with an introduction and conclusion, which is good for organizing your thoughts.
content
Highlighting the stress and competition among students is a relevant point, reflecting a critical perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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