Students should pay the full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students
should pay the full price for their own class courses because
academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
education
benefits
individuals rather than society.It is the opinion of
this
writer that
students
should pay the full cost for their own
study
rather than
university
education
benefits
. It is vital to understand that pay the full cost for their own
study
.
Due to
the fact that
students
should be using their own finances to pay the full cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
study
,the
university
education
perks would be very extremely hard to get.
As a consequence
,
students
should focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
and improve their abilities.
Therefore
,the
benefits
of
university
education
were extremely challenging to have because a hundred
students
want to get it,precisely
for
this
reason makes
students
very
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
. Another key component of the case for
university
education
benefits
.It should be self-evident that having
benefits
will help
students
a lot when they
study
.
Therefore
,everyone in
university
wants to get it because of the value it brings to them a lot that makes them fight each other to get it. In conclusion, admission
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to focus on their
university
studies,and the
benefits
of a
university
education
are extremely challenging to get.Even,though it will bring a lot of motivation
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the price is very challenging which makes
students
very stressed when they studying.
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details. It seemed some sections were repeating similar ideas without clear distinctions or examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly with transitional phrases to improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Try to address the essay prompt more directly, discussing both sides of the argument to fully respond to the question. It appears the essay leans towards one perspective without sufficiently exploring the opposite viewpoint or the prompt's statement about societal benefits.
language
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression. Correct use of language enhances the quality and comprehension of your points.
structure
You've made an effort to structure your essay with an introduction and conclusion, which is good for organizing your thoughts.
content
Highlighting the stress and competition among students is a relevant point, reflecting a critical perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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