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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education be nefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #nefits #individuals #society
More people think after studying at universities,
students
 will earn
money
 for themselves
instead
 of benefiting society, so there are arguments that
students
 should pay
money
 for the fees. In my opinion, I disagree with that, follow
this
 below to know the reasons why I think that. Studying at universities brings more benefits for
students
 in the future, but not only that, they will forget some things that governments helped them.
For example
, more
students
 choose to work for the governments or their countries
instead
 of foreign companies,
although
 they know working at foreign ones will get more
money
, or be rich.
Furthermore
, if having to pay the full cost, more
students
 will not continue staying at school or more, because not more families have enough
money
 to pay fees for all their children, which will make children just want to stop studying soon. More
students
 think that because they do not have to spend anything on that, they can play more that do not worry about anything, so more situations drop out of school because of that.
Additionally
, with low salaries, there are not enough
students
 who would like to study in that career. Can see carefully that nowadays, there are more and more universities that lack teachers to teach, and they just hope to create AI teachers in the future. In conclusion,
this
 argument
also
 has a correct and incorrect part, but I still disagree with
this
 situation.

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Introduction Improvement
Introduce your essay more clearly, stating your position directly related to the prompt for a stronger argument.
Specific Examples
To strengthen your argument, provide specific, concrete examples that clearly support your points. Abstract statements can be harder to follow or see the relevance of.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should introduce one main idea and develop it with examples and explanations.
Sentence Variety
Work on sentence structure and varying your sentence beginnings for a more dynamic and interesting essay.
Grammar & Punctuation
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity. Issues such as run-on sentences or missing connectors can make your essay harder to follow.
Balanced Argument
You addressed both sides of the argument, which is good practice in discussing extent of agreement or disagreement.
Clear Position
You've maintained a clear position throughout the essay, which helps in achieving task coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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