Nowadays, the quality of life in large city is decreasing. Why is this happening? What can be developed?

There is a common concern in
this
day that life quality in metropolises is declining. The reason for
this
stems from the high
cost
of living. In light of
this
, it can be addressed by
government
subsidies on amenities. The focal reason behind a drop in living quality is
due to
the excessive
cost
. It must be recognised that,
along with
the enhancement in infrastructures, the
cost
of
this
is incredibly high, affecting individuals who are in the middle class or lower as they find it hard to maintain an adequate life, which means that those have to reduce their living conditions to fit their current financial situation.
That is
to say, the more people struggle with their living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
, the greater the likelihood of urban decay.
However
, a solution to
this
problem can be found in
government
funding for housing. To be more specific, the share in accommodation costs would improve the financial status of one since a large amount of money is addressed by the
government
's help.
In other words
, were authorities to allocate more budget on housing, the quality of their citizens would see an
overall
refinement.
Thus
,
government
spending on citizens' amenities would benefit both individuals
as well as
parliament
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as it enhances economic growth. In conclusion, high living
cost
is the main reason for the deterioration in living standards.
Thus
, the financial support
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accommodation of the city's administration could handle
this
problem to make way for a high-quality city.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While the essay addresses the topic and provides solutions, incorporating more specific, real-world examples could enhance clarity and the persuasive quality of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures further to improve readability and sophistication. While the structure is good, greater variety in complex sentence structures could enhance the flow and cohesion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, make clearer connections between your ideas and examples. Use more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your discussion and reasoning.
Introduction & Conclusion
A clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay's topic and the writer's viewpoint.
Logical Structure
The essay logically organizes ideas and arguments, following a coherent structure that facilitates understanding.
Task Response
You've demonstrated a good capacity to address the essay task, providing a clear response to the prompt with comprehensive ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: