IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Student should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits students individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #cost #study #university #education #students #individuals #society
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The statement suggests that
students
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 should bear the full cost of their university
education
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 because it primarily benefits them individually rather than society as a whole.
This
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 author
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
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 view for the following reasons.
Firstly
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, by investing financially in their
education
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,
students
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 develop a stronger sense of ownership over their academic journey and are more motivated to make the most of their educational opportunities.
Additionally
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, it encourages them to pursue fields of study that align with their interests and long-term goals. Ultimately, charging
students
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 the full cost of their
education
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 reinforces the principle that
education
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 is a valuable investment in oneself, motivating
students
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 to take their academic pursuits seriously and maximize their potential for personal and professional growth.
Secondly
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, proponents argue that requiring
students
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 to finance their university
education
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 promotes fiscal responsibility and efficient resource allocation. Under
this
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 model,
students
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 prioritize their academic pursuits and make informed decisions about their
education
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, leading to a more focused and purposeful learning experience.
This
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 emphasis on personal investment benefits both individuals and the higher
education
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 system as a whole. In conclusion,
while
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 advocating for
students
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 to bear the full cost of their university
education
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 highlights principles of personal responsibility and fiscal accountability, it's crucial to balance
this
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 approach with considerations of equity and accessibility to ensure
education
Use synonyms
 remains accessible and affordable for all.

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Examples
Though your argument is presented in a structured manner, adding more varied and specific examples to support your points would greatly enhance the effectiveness of your essay.
Balance
To further improve your score, work on providing a more balanced argument by considering opposing viewpoints and discussing them in your essay. This will demonstrate your ability to engage with the topic comprehensively.
Conclusion
Consider developing your conclusion further by summarizing the key points of your argument more explicitly and stating your position more clearly. This will strengthen the overall impact of your essay.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, showcasing a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence
The logical flow from one paragraph to the next is well-maintained, making your argument easy to follow.
Task Response
You have made a good effort to address the task, presenting a clear argument throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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