IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The plan below shows the village of Pebbleton 20 years ago and now.

#plan #village #pebbleton #years
The provided maps illustrate the changes of Pebbleton hamlet over the period of 20 years.
Overall
, it can be seen that the village has witnessed significant transformations.
Moreover
, the most noticeable change is the addition of new houses and the construction of recreational places. On the western side of the village, a new footpath is
buit
Correct your spelling
built
but
 in order to connect the Coast Road to the Old Fort Road, facilitating students to come across the river.
Noticebly
Correct your spelling
Noticeably
, the Lighthouse on top of the village and the film studio remain unchanged
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Similarly
, a school and community greens in the North has not changed its initial position for 20 years. At present, an Old Fort has been converted into a children’s playground and the appearance of tennis courts between the Footpath and Lighthouses is
also
 recorded. On the northern side, a
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 centre is
newly-added
Correct your spelling
newly added
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the sea. There was a few houses on the coastline but it has been expanded by the addition of new housing estates. The playing field and trees stay unchanged
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 20 years.
Submitted by AI EO VIP PROOOOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
You’ve done a great job structuring your essay logically. However, consider adding an introductory sentence that directly addresses the task prompt to strengthen your introduction.
logical structure
Try to vary your sentence structures more to increase coherence and keep your reader engaged.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from a brief conclusion summarizing the main changes observed. This would give your essay a more rounded feel and effectively signal its end to the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic of maps and geographical changes to enhance clarity and precision in your descriptions.
relevant specific examples
The use of descriptive language to detail the changes in Pebbleton over 20 years enriches your essay.
logical structure
You adeptly navigate the reader through the geographical transformations of Pebbleton, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: