IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plan below shows the village of Pebbleton 20 years ago and now.

#plan #village #pebbleton #years
The given maps illustrate the changes in Pebbleton village in the
last
 20 years and at the present.
Overall
, it can be seen that Pebbleton village now has added more facilities,
while
 some constructions have been removed for these objects . We can
also
 observe that the Lighthouse, film studio and school have remained unchanged in the past. Looking at the figures in
further
 detail, in the northwest area, Old Fort from 20 years ago has been transformed into a playground for children's entertainment.
Moreover
, on the left side of the houses, Community the centre has been added and the house area is expanded towards the eastern direction. Turning to the remaining statistics, a footpath has been constructed across the river to connect Old Fort
Road
 and Coast
Road
, create the way for the film studio,
children’s
Correct word choice
and children’s
show examples
 playground and reduce the distance from houses to school as well.
Furthermore
, on the old Fort
Road
, tennis courts are built
at the end
 of the
road
, on the
west northern
Add a hyphen
west-northern
show examples
 side.
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coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that there is a clear transition and logical flow between each paragraph. For example, more effectively link the changes you describe in different parts of the village by mentioning how these changes relate to one another.
coherence cohesion
To solidify the introduction and conclusion, consider briefly summarizing the overall transformation of Pebbleton in the concluding paragraph to reinforce the main points discussed.
task achievement
For a more comprehensive response, aim to provide additional details where relevant. For instance, when mentioning the new facilities like the community center and playground, you could briefly describe how these facilities have improved the village. More specific examples can make your response stronger.
task achievement
Strive for greater clarity by avoiding unnecessary repetitiveness. Where possible, simplify the language and ensure that each sentence directly supports the main point you are making.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, covering the major changes in Pebbleton village over the past 20 years.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to support the descriptions of changes, such as the creation of a playground and the construction of a footpath.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs that separate different sections of the village and changes that have taken place.
coherence cohesion
Despite minor inaccuracies, the essay maintains overall clarity and is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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