IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
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The development of
science
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 at most stages helps people improve their
lives
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, but some of them do not seem to be helpful. The advancement of
science
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 has made our
lives
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 healthier and studying easier. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 statement that the goals of
science
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 must be beneficial.
Firstly
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, the influence of
science
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 on health is noticeable.
For example
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, vaccines saved several
lives
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 during the COVID-19 pandemic, and if scientists had not discovered that, it would have killed a lot of people.
Secondly
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, the progress of
science
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 leads to learning new things and education more accessible. To exemplify, most universities offer on-person courses so that you are able to attend the class where you are living.
Therefore
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, the advancement of technology has made us live easier and healthier.
However
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, we must ensure that the advancement of
science
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 is guided by ethical morals and some scientists are not aware of the consequences of their discoveries.
For instance
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, Oppenheimer who invented the atomic nuclear to create clean energy, would not have known that it was going to ruin and destroy a lot of cities.
Thus
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, we ought to struggle to balance between ethical and breakthrough considerations of potential harm.
To conclude
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, the prime aim of
science
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 should be to enhance the well-being of the induvial and society. The positive impact of medicine and education on our
lives
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 is evident, but we must ensure that prioritize the ethical considerations.
Submitted by shahab.a on

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further and provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and the connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to maintaining a formal tone throughout the essay to align with academic standards.
task achievement
You presented a clear thesis statement which effectively sets the direction of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully used examples to support your points, strengthening the persuasiveness of your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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