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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart shows British emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007 . Summarize the information and make comparison.

The chart shows British emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007 . Summarize the information and make comparison.
#british #emigration #destinations #information #comparison
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The bar chart provides key information about emigration to select destinations in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom from 2004 to 2007.The units are measured in
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
Asutralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
.
In addition
Linking Words
, 2006
is
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest rate,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand
is
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the
less
Correct your spelling
lowest
show examples
 ratio in 2006.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Spain is the second higher
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the 5 countries in 2004 and 2005 the ratio
reatched
Correct your spelling
reached
 to 35 thousand when 2006
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was 32 and 2007
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the less one. In 2004 the ratio
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and France
reatched
Correct your spelling
reached
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to the same level
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 23 thousand when
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in 2005
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 were 16 and France
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 34. 2006 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is 22 and in France is 25
whereas
Linking Words
 2007 in both countries
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level.
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 Australia have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher rate compared to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries.
Submitted by witan.mutairi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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