TASK 2 Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
It is quite conventional, that with the appearance of modern technologies, the way that most
of
Change preposition
apply
people
communicate with each other has drastically changed. This
essay agrees, that people
recently rather to
use Remove the marker
apply
internet
to exchange messages with each other than to have a face-to-face conversation Add an article
the internet
due to
the fact that some people
find it. It also
agrees that it poses a negative clout on our society.
It is undisputed, that there are some people
who find socializing with their friends, using social networks such
as Whatsapp or Facebook, much more comfortable than speaking with others in real life
. You can use your smartphones
to contact anyone everywhere. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
The
recent survey indicates that about 35% of Correct article usage
A
people
prefer to use their gadgets to interact with others, to
hang out Correct word choice
and to
their
friends. So that already means that there is a tangible number of those who prefer social networks to real comrades.
Change preposition
with their
Nonetheless
, there is a question that some people
rack their brains to answer: whether the influence of such
virtual relationships with others good
or badAdd a missing verb
is good
?
Change the punctuation
.
This
essay firmly believes that such
a virtual social life
has a negative effect on particular people
,
since it leads to Remove the comma
apply
inability
of some to socialize in Add an article
the inability
an inability
the
real Correct article usage
apply
life
. The recent surveillanc
, provided by the Estonian Ministry of Education unearthed that about 55% of Estonians, addicted to virtual chatting, undergo hardships in socializing with their classmates. It only reinforces the fact that using gadgets too much may lead to serious problems.
To infer, with the appearance of the new technologies,Correct your spelling
surveillance
people
can communicate with each other way easier than they used to decades earlier, nonetheless
some of them became addicted to social networks and started misusing them, which can bring about some serious problems in real Add a comma
nonetheless,
life
.Submitted by katerina21.05 on
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coherence cohesion
Be cautious of repetitive statements and strive for a variety in your sentence structure to enhance readability and engagement. For instance, varying sentence openings and structure can bring dynamism to your writing.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to underpin your arguments. While you referenced general statistics, adding detailed examples or anecdotal evidence could strengthen your points and make your argumentation more persuasive.
language accuracy
Review verb tenses and ensure consistency throughout your essay. Switching between past and present tenses without clear reason can confuse readers and impact the clarity of your message.
task achievement
Ensure to address the question directly and fully. While your essay discusses the changes in communication due to technology and leans towards explaining why it's mostly negative, expanding on the dichotomy of technology's impact (both positive and negative) in greater depth could provide a more rounded analysis.
introduction conclusion present
You effectively introduced the topic and your viewpoint in the introduction, providing a clear thesis statement.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main ideas of your essay, aligning well with the introduction and body paragraphs.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of technology's impact on communication.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.