IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.
#information #process #drinks
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The diagram illustrates the process of carbonated
drinks
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 made in various steps.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the production of carbonated
drinks
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 5 stages,
started
Change the form of the verb
starting
show examples
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 cleaning and
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 at
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
 stage for
sell
Replace the word
sale
show examples
 in
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
. It is apparent that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbonated
drinks
Use synonyms
 start with
sent
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
raw
water
Use synonyms
 to filter for adjust and reduce the dust and
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 that contaminate in
water
Use synonyms
. Next step, use a pump to blow the
water
Use synonyms
 to electric heaters and pass
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
cooling
Correct article usage
the cooling
show examples
 pipe to mix with
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
 in
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
 evaporation and carbonation stage.
And
Correct word choice
Then
show examples
then
Linking Words
, give the carbonated
water
Use synonyms
 to
mixing
Correct article usage
the mixing
show examples
 tank
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 add colouring, syrup and flavour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after mixing
substance
Correct article usage
the substance
show examples
, use the filter again before filling in bottles and cans
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 prepare to pack in the box.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
waiting
Add the preposition
waiting for
show examples
 the car to transport the carbonated
drinks
Use synonyms
 to
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
show examples
 for
sell
Replace the word
sale
show examples
 to people who like to drink.
According to
Linking Words
 the process,
this
Linking Words
 carbonated drink brand is very clean because they use the filters
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two times.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the consumer can trust
this
Linking Words
 brand is clean for them.
Submitted by kran0630482559 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words drinks, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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