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Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #stress #measures
In the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries, the total number of people who are suffering from stress is tremendously increasing.
This
 essay will discuss how inflation contributes
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 increasing the stress level of citizens and how
this
 problem can be tackled by maximizing the tax lab in a country. In recent years, especially after
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 Pandemic the value of money
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
deprecating
Correct your spelling
depreciating
show examples
 rapidly.
As a result
 of
this
, the people cannot afford for the same product which they have bought a few years ago.
In addition
 to
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they were pressured to earn a lot of money for their survival.
The recent
Correct article usage
Recent
show examples
 research says that the value of groceries
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
alone increased up to 50% when compared to the
last
Correct word choice
previous
show examples
 year,
whereas
 the income of the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 still
stays
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 the same. Most of the researchers felt that the main reason behind
this
 is not increasing tax
lab
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
. The government should consider increasing the minimum salary of a person. Because of
this
, the citizens can manage the
increase
 in
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of living.
For instance
, let us consider in case of a local shop. When a
labour
Correct your spelling
labourer
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the local shop
demanded
Wrong verb form
demands
show examples
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high salary,
then
 the shop
owned
Replace the word
owner
show examples
 is pushed into the situation to
increase
 his productivity
as well as
increase
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
cost
 of his product. And now it
end
Change the verb form
ends
show examples
 up in a vicious cycle that
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 in salary
as well as
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of living. In conclusion, the main reason behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 suffering is
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of living.
Although
 increasing the tax lab is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 to tackle
this
 situation, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 other economic reasons as well.
Submitted by r.harip3 on

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Task Achievement
Try to explore a wider range of causes and solutions for stress beyond economic factors to fully address the task.
Task Achievement
Clarify the connection between your examples and your main points. Specific, real-life examples could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. Maintain this structure in all your writings.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve logical flow, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review your essay to ensure consistent and clear argument development throughout, particularly when transitioning between causes and solutions.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, setting out your essay's structure effectively.
Content
You successfully established a main cause of stress (economic factors) and suggested a potential solution (adjusting tax laws).

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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