Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #buildings #ones

Some people believe that It should be

change

Wrong verb form

changed

show examples

the

Change preposition

from the

show examples

old building to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

modern building to save the

money

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

protecting and

repairing

Correct pronoun usage

repairing it

show examples

. From my point of view, I agree with

this

idea for many reasons,described in the following paragraph.

To begin

with, I strongly agree

to change

Change preposition

with changing

show examples

the old building to

modern

Correct article usage

a modern

show examples

building.

New

Add an article

The new

show examples

modern building is the new style for people in

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

gen. In

this

house can

allow

Verb problem

show examples

the technology to help in

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

uch

Correct your spelling

such

smart

Add an article

a smart

the smart

show examples

home

for

Change preposition

show examples

help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

open and close the light or air conditioner

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can

control

Wrong verb form

be controlled

show examples

by smart phone. To control facilities in smart

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

can

chexk

Correct your spelling

check

the pain point of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern accommodation

for

Change preposition

show examples

fix or protect when have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

problem.

Moreover

, the

stucture

Correct your spelling

structure

of modern

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

give

the

Correct article usage

show examples

strongly

Change the adverb

strong

show examples

structure with the new technology materials and the materials that

used

Add a missing verb

are used

show examples

to build the old building

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

limited time

for

Change preposition

show examples

give

the

Correct article usage

show examples

strong structure.

Additionally

modern

Add an article

the modern

a modern

show examples

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

can

saving

Change the verb form

save

be saving

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

daily life.

For example

, the owner does not need to spend the

money

for repair in the pain thing. And

then

, modern

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

in present can install the

solarcell

Correct your spelling

solar cell

solar-cell

for

Change preposition

show examples

change

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

solar energy to electric energy for

consume

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

in the afternoon and keep the energy for

consume

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

after

light

Correct article usage

the light

show examples

from the sun is off at night.

Thus

, it may

cheaper

Add a missing verb

be cheaper

show examples

for spending

Change preposition

to spend

show examples

the

money

Change preposition

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

than

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

old building. In conclusion, I personally agree with

this

viewpoint because it seems to me that

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of modern

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by kran0630482559 on Wed May 08 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your essay, it's important to provide a more balanced view on the topic. While you've made your position clear, considering counterarguments or acknowledging the importance of old buildings could enrich your discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider organizing your ideas more effectively by using clear paragraphing and linking words. This will help in creating a smoother flow of ideas and arguments throughout the essay.

Language

Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can help to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language skills more effectively. Aim to diversify your language use in your next essay.

Task Achievement

You've clearly stated your opinion and provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which is good for task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, which helps in structuring your essay and making your viewpoint clear to the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Preservation
Restoration
Demolition
Architectural heritage
Cultural significance
Tourist attraction
Urban landscape
Sustainability
Conservation
Economic benefits
Historical landmarks
Urban renewal
Infrastructure
Maintenance costs
Modern amenities
Building regulations
Community identity
Heritage conservation

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Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss both the advantage and disadvantages of this develpment.

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Write at least 250 words.