There’s the need to give more strict punishments to those who violate road safety rules. Agree or disagree.

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In recent years,
safety
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roads have become a crucial
issue
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that affects people's lives.
While
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some argue that enforcing stricter punishments can address
this
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issue
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, opponents and I disagree. I am content that it is necessary to follow a more holistic approach that encourages raising the awareness of drivers and upgrading
infrastructure
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to increase security and
safety
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.
To begin
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with, those in favour of applying stricter punishment argue that penalties will deter individuals from breaking
road
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safety
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rules.
For instance
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, if the fines for speeding and cutting red lights increased the drivers may hold back from engaging in risky behaviours.
However
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,
this
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approach fails to consider the underlying factors that cause these violations which include education and
infrastructure
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.
Thus
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, in order to reduce harm we have to address the root of
this
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issue
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including ignorance and poor
infrastructure
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.
For instance
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, establishing a campaign that encourages following route rules and discouraging violent behaviours by emphasising its harm to individuals and society.
Additionally
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, improving
road
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infrastructure
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,
such
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as adding speed bumps or pedestrian crossings, can help prevent accidents and reduce the need for harsh punishments. In conclusion,
after
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this
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essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that setting severe penalties is not the only way to ensure
road
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safety
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.
However
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, governments should mitigate the
issue
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by escalating the drivers' awareness and enhancing
road
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facilities.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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Task Achievement
While your essay adequately addresses the topic, including more specific examples to support your arguments could strengthen your position. Consider incorporating real-world statistics or case studies to make your points more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and coherence overall. To further improve, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Transition sentences at the end of paragraphs can enhance this flow and guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Task Achievement
You've done well in presenting a balanced perspective, acknowledging the opposing view while clearly articulating your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively developed, providing a clear framework for your essay which engages the reader and succinctly summarizes your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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