Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
many believe that children
should study
all subjects
at school
, others argue that they should only study
subjects
they perform well or
Change preposition
in or
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
.
Both Change preposition
in.
point
of view and Fix the agreement mistake
points
reason
why I agree with the former statement will be elaborated on in Add an article
the reason
this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seems
sensible for some to believe that learning all Change the verb form
seem
subjects
in school
help
the Change the verb form
helps
children
to expose
Wrong verb form
be exposed
with
several academic Change preposition
to
field
and Fix the agreement mistake
fields
experience
at a young age. Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
This
is possibly
because they are in Replace the adverb
possible
period
of exploring and finding identity Add an article
a period
the period
inwhich
Correct your spelling
in which
these basic knowledge
can help them to develop for the Change the determiner
this basic knowledge
advance
idea in the future. Replace the word
advanced
For example
, some students may apply both science and language into one amazing invention which they can enjoy.
Many of the opponent
might disagree with the mentioned Change to a plural noun
opponents
arguement
since they believe that not all Correct your spelling
argument
the
Correct article usage
apply
subjects
are
matter in the future unless you work in that field. Unnecessary verb
apply
Hence
, in this
respect, it better
for the Add a missing verb
is better
children
to only study
things they performed well at school
or things they find it
interesting as they can enhance Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
's confidence and help them to focus on one skills
with a passion-drive. Change to a singular noun
skill
Moreover
, not every children
Fix the agreement mistake
child is
expert
in several fields Correct article usage
an expert
such
as linguistic
, science, or physical talent. Replace the word
linguistics
For instance
, a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
children
may perform well academically in sciences rather than a
Correct article usage
apply
phycial
activities like sports. In Correct your spelling
physical
school
, it is undeniable that grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
does
matter, and if they Correct subject-verb agreement
do
failed
to accomplish one they might bring their confidence down to the floor.
Wrong verb form
fail
However
, I personally argue in favour of seeing that
the benefit of Correct word choice
apply
study
every Wrong verb form
studying
courses
in Change to a singular noun
course
school
. because many people think that the school
is a place where it cultivated
Wrong verb form
cultivates
children
with the
basic knowledge from different Correct article usage
apply
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
such
as science, sports, linguistic
,and Replace the word
linguistics
technologies
. Take mathematics, Fix the agreement mistake
technology
for example
: it help
students to calculate taxes, Change the verb form
helps
Correct word choice
and purchasing
purchasing
stuff as Wrong verb form
purchase
this
simple calculation embbed
in our life.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
embed
although
it is undeniable that children
may perform well in things they interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
or
good at as Change preposition
in or
its
can boost Change the pronoun
it
up
their confidence, other Change preposition
apply
subjects
cannot be neglects
as Wrong verb form
neglected
it
provide Correct pronoun usage
they
a basic knowledge
in order to develop into a more complex usage in the future once they Remove the article
basic knowledge
a piece of basic knowledge
grown
up.Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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Structure
To enhance the clarity of your argument, consider restructuring your essay to introduce each viewpoint more distinctly and then juxtapose them before giving your opinion. This can make your argument more balanced and easier for the reader to follow.
Language Use
Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases and topic-specific vocabulary to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will also make your essay appear more cohesive and polished.
Example Use
Consider elaborating on your examples with more detail to strengthen your arguments. Providing specific, real-world instances can significantly enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Grammar and Spelling
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as correcting these can greatly improve the overall presentation and readability of your essay.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and outlines the key points that will be discussed.
Balance
You provide a balanced discussion on both views before stating your own opinion, which is good practice for this essay type.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates your opinion, reinforcing your argument.