Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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While
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many believe that
children
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should
study
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all
subjects
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at
school
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, others argue that they should only
study
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subjects
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they perform well
or
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in or
show examples
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
.
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in.
show examples
Both
point
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points
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of view and
reason
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the reason
show examples
why I agree with the former statement will be elaborated on in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, it may
seems
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seem
show examples
sensible for some to believe that learning all
subjects
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in
school
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help
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helps
show examples
the
children
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to
expose
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be exposed
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with
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to
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several academic
field
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fields
show examples
and
experience
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experiences
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at a young age.
This
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is
possibly
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possible
show examples
because they are in
period
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a period
the period
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of exploring and finding identity
inwhich
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in which
these basic knowledge
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this basic knowledge
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can help them to develop for the
advance
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advanced
show examples
idea in the future.
For example
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, some students may apply both science and language into one amazing invention which they can enjoy. Many of the
opponent
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opponents
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might disagree with the mentioned
arguement
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argument
since they believe that not all
the
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apply
show examples
subjects
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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matter in the future unless you work in that field.
Hence
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, in
this
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respect, it
better
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is better
show examples
for the
children
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to only
study
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things they performed well at
school
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or things they find
it
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apply
show examples
interesting as they can enhance
children
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's confidence and help them to focus on one
skills
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skill
show examples
with a passion-drive.
Moreover
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, not every
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children
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child is
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expert
Correct article usage
an expert
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in several fields
such
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as
linguistic
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linguistics
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, science, or physical talent.
For instance
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,
a
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children
a child
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children
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may perform well academically in sciences rather than
a
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apply
show examples
phycial
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physical
activities like sports. In
school
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, it is undeniable that
grade
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grades
show examples
does
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do
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matter, and if they
failed
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fail
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to accomplish one they might bring their confidence down to the floor.
However
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, I personally argue in favour of seeing
that
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apply
show examples
the benefit of
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study
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studying
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every
courses
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course
show examples
in
school
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. because many people think that the
school
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is a place where it
cultivated
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cultivates
show examples
children
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with
the
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apply
show examples
basic knowledge from different
field
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fields
show examples
such
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as science, sports,
linguistic
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linguistics
show examples
,and
technologies
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technology
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. Take mathematics,
for example
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: it
help
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helps
show examples
students to calculate taxes,
Correct word choice
and purchasing
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purchasing
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purchase
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stuff as
this
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simple calculation
embbed
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embed
in our life. In conclusion,
although
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it is undeniable that
children
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may perform well in things they
interested
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are interested
show examples
or
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in or
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good at as
its
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it
show examples
can boost
up
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apply
show examples
their confidence, other
subjects
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cannot be
neglects
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neglected
show examples
as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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provide
a basic knowledge
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basic knowledge
a piece of basic knowledge
show examples
in order to develop into a more complex usage in the future once they
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
show examples
up.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Structure
To enhance the clarity of your argument, consider restructuring your essay to introduce each viewpoint more distinctly and then juxtapose them before giving your opinion. This can make your argument more balanced and easier for the reader to follow.
Language Use
Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases and topic-specific vocabulary to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will also make your essay appear more cohesive and polished.
Example Use
Consider elaborating on your examples with more detail to strengthen your arguments. Providing specific, real-world instances can significantly enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Grammar and Spelling
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as correcting these can greatly improve the overall presentation and readability of your essay.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and outlines the key points that will be discussed.
Balance
You provide a balanced discussion on both views before stating your own opinion, which is good practice for this essay type.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates your opinion, reinforcing your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • discover their interests and strengths
  • basic understanding
  • interconnected world
  • higher motivation
  • deeper knowledge
  • mental health
  • reducing unnecessary stress
  • boredom
  • balanced approach
  • successful specialization
  • well-informed perspective
  • solid general education
  • freedom to delve deeper
  • specialized future career path
What to do next:
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