Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #schools #impact #children #environment

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people argue that

schools

Use synonyms

are competitive and it is creating a bad impact on

children

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

others say that the competitive surroundings provide

motive

Add an article

a motive

show examples

for the

students

Use synonyms

to succeed. I believe that the competitive

environment

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

creating more stress and negative impact on

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss how

this

Linking Words

environment

Use synonyms

is creating stress

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

childer

Correct your spelling

child

show examples

and followed by that it will discuss how it encourages

children

Use synonyms

to achieve.

Nowaday

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

show examples

environment

Use synonyms

in the

schools

Use synonyms

are more competitive and it is creating a negative

imapct

Correct your spelling

impact

on the

students

Use synonyms

. Ten to twenty decades ago,

schools

Use synonyms

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

the place where all the

students

Use synonyms

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

enhance their knowledge and make new

friends

Use synonyms

Whereas

Linking Words

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

, school is the place where

students

Use synonyms

consider their

friends

Use synonyms

as competitors and

wanted

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

to acquire higher

Use synonyms

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

than others. Even though

this

Linking Words

environment

Use synonyms

help

Wrong verb form

helped

show examples

them to

achive

Correct your spelling

achieve

high

Use synonyms

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

, it failed to teach the

students

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to agree and live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

recent survey

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

students

Use synonyms

says that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

to 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the

children

Use synonyms

who are

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schools

Use synonyms

don't have any

friends

Use synonyms

. In the race of achieving they are forgetting to satisfy their personal life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is true that the competitive

environment

Use synonyms

is encouraging

children

Use synonyms

to achieve. It helps the

students

Use synonyms

to set a target for themself to achieve. The best example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

scenario is my school teacher. To

score

Use synonyms

high

mark

Fix the agreement mistake

marks

show examples

during my school days, our physics teacher often asked us to split into a group of two people.

And the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

target of each

Use synonyms

students

Change to a singular noun

student

show examples

in the groups is to

score

Use synonyms

high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

mark

Fix the agreement mistake

marks

show examples

than the other one.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the person who got

lower

Correct article usage

a lower

show examples

score

Use synonyms

should provide

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

gift to the student who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

acquired

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

score

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

competitive approach helped the majority of the

students

Use synonyms

to acquire high marks. In

conslusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

students

Use synonyms

should not forget to learn how to

collabrate

Correct your spelling

collaborate

and make

friends

Use synonyms

, in the race

of achieving

Change preposition

to achieve

show examples

their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

. Rather than focusing on only the scores of the

students

Use synonyms

schools

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

help them to

collabrate

Correct your spelling

collaborate

with each other. Without any sort of

Correct your spelling

collaboration

collabration

Add a comma

collabration,

show examples

a student can achieve in his

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

but not in his work life.

Submitted by r.harip3 on Thu May 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentence structure

Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve the flow of your essay.

Paragraph structure

Consider using paragraphs to structure your essay more clearly. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea or argument.

Grammar and punctuation

Be cautious with spelling, grammar, and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.

Example specificity

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

Balanced discussion

Ensure a balance in the discussion of both views before stating your opinion. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Introduction clarity

You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear opinion in the introduction.

Effective conclusion

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your arguments and reiterates your opinion, which is good practice.

Topic focus

You've maintained a focus on the topic throughout the essay, showing good task response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, with significant development of up-to-date technologies, more and more children have been spending time on their smartphones. Some people contend that this could make a positive influence on various aspects, while others believe that this could lead to detrimental consequences. In this essay, I will address two diametrically opposed views and reason out the conclusion.
7.5
band
In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.What your opinions?
In contemporary society, with the rise in the cost of living, both parents must work to earn more money. The question of whether this brings more advantages for children has become a matter of considerable debate. Although some argue that this situation causes parents to not have enough time to spend with their children, I believe this choice is more beneficial for them.
5.5
band
In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.What are the causes and possile solutions for this problem.
It is often argued that the behavioural issues of students are the major issues at many schools in most countries. The possible causes of this problem are unstable family backgrounds and peer pressure which could be alleviated by enforcing strict rules and counselling the students regularly. This essay will discuss the same with relevant examples.
7
band
Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?
In today's world, things have changed unexpectedly and sometimes are uncertain like technological innovative skills, up-to-date information and knowledge, and so on. Some dislike changes in their society and in their lives, while others believe that it is essential for regenerating and renovating. For me, I believe that it needs to renew and refresh old things instead of staying the same.
<4
band
some people say that all people should stay in full time education until they are at least 18 years old . to what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, many people believe that admission who before 18 years old should be used all of their time in education. In the opinion of the writer think that it is not necessary because education must have a particular schedule to bring the good effective to students.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.What your opinions?

In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.What are the causes and possile solutions for this problem.

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

some people say that all people should stay in full time education until they are at least 18 years old . to what extent do you agree or disagree