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Writing Samples
Band 5

The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives. What kinds of influence may children's friends have on them? What can parents do to ensure that their children's friends are a good influence on them?

#friends #children #part #lives #kinds #influence #parents
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It is generally agreed that
peer’s
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peer
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 pressure is inevitable
,
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 since kids are raised
up
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in
the
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apply
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society and contact other children daily. The impact friends have on
the
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young people can be both beneficial and disastrous, depending on numerous circumstances.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that parents may set certain conditions to provide
positive
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the positive
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 influence of others on their offspring,
such
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 as instilling the right values in them and teaching them to think independently. Regarding
effects
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the effects
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 peers have on kids, promoting a certain way of life is the major one.
For instance
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, those who are keen on sports can motivate others to start training, forming a positive pattern of behaviour.
On the contrary
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, those who use drugs, play truant from school and do other disruptive things might force well-bred pupils to follow their example, changing their future for the worse. Both positive and negative scenarios are difficult to change
,
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 since friends are often regarded as more influential than
the
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family members.
However
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, parents may take measures to protect their kids from the ruining actions of their acquaintances. First and foremost,
such
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 values as love, independence and responsibility should be transmitted, in order to teach the young how to distinguish bad from good.
Secondly
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, an ability to think for oneself must be developed, since it is the only way to predict possible outcomes of a dangerous behaviour. If a kid knows what is the right thing to do and sees the potential damage that the wrong action may lead to, he will probably refuse to stay under his friends’ pressure.
To conclude
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, it is believed that the impact of peers can be both advantageous and disadvantageous for the individual, depending on circumstances.
Nevertheless
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, guardians must protect their offspring from the negative influence by teaching them how to behave normally and make their own decisions. If these measures are implemented, I assume that the number of criminal actions made by
the
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youngsters may be declined.
Submitted by fednastya000 on

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Consider varying your sentence structures and utilising a broader range of linking words to improve the flow and complexity of your writing, thus enhancing coherence and cohesion.
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Your essay provides a well-structured argument, effectively introducing your viewpoint and concluding with a clear summary of your thoughts.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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