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Band 3

The diagarms below show a school in 1985 and the school now

#diagarms #show #school
Contained in the two
infograms
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info grams
 is information pertaining to changes
of
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in
show examples
 a
school
 from 1985 to now
Overall
, the
school
 has undergone a visible transition comprising of
minmizing
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minimizing
 a playground in order to expand more studying and sporty spaces.
Additionally
, the quantity of pupils has increased considerably by 800 pupils. With
regarding
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regard
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 to the Northern side of
school
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the school
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, as far as the borders of the car park and main road were concerned, they were reconstructed into a semicircle
instead
 of being a rectangle form. There are lots of trees that
has
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have
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 been planted in the middle of the
school
, which replaced the straight road. Moving onto the study room, it was extended from 2 to 3 floors ;
however
 ; on the opposite side,
a
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apply
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small parking and classrooms were
destablished
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established
.
Furthermore
,
library
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the library
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 has been
rennovated
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renovated
 to
confer
Verb problem
contain
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 some computers inside. Turning to the remaining part in the South of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
, where the playground has been converted
apartly
Correct your spelling
partly
 in the south-west into extra classrooms and area for sports including a pool and a fitness centre.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, overview, and conclusion. The overview could more explicitly compare the school's state in 1985 and now for clarity.
coherence
Improve coherence by using a variety of linking words effectively and organizing your paragraphs clearly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific details.
task response
To enhance task achievement, make sure to provide a detailed and clear comparison between the two times. Include specific examples to illustrate the changes more vividly.
accuracy
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'minmizing' instead of 'minimizing', 'destablished' instead of 'demolished', and ensuring subject-verb agreement ('there are lots of trees that has been planted' should be 'have been planted').
content
You have effectively highlighted the major changes the school underwent, like the addition of new facilities and the expansion of existing structures.
task response
Your essay provides a broad comparison of the school's structure from 1985 to the present, which is crucial for task response.
language range
You used a variety of sentence structures to convey information, enhancing the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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