some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other . Others believe people have become more independent . Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In modern society, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
relationships
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
subject to debate, with some contending that people are increasingly reliant on each other
while
others argue for growing independence.
This
essay explores both perspectives, with a focus on the assertion that individuals are becoming more independent. Beginning with the first view ,
percent
Correct your spelling
the percentage
show examples
of increasing interdependence
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
to various societal trends that underscore the growing reliance on others. In the professional realm, specialization in various fields necessitates collaboration and teamwork.
For instance
, in the field of medicine, doctors, nurses, and technicians must collaborate closely to provide comprehensive patient care.
Similarly
, globalization has interconnected nations economically and socially, leading to mutual dependence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
trade,
resources
Correct word choice
and resources
show examples
, and addressing global challenges. The COVID-19 pandemic demonstrated how interconnected the world has become, with countries relying on each other for medical supplies, vaccines, and scientific expertise to combat the virus.
On the other hand
, I contend modern society promotes individual autonomy and self-sufficiency. One notable trend is the rise of smaller family sizes and increased mobility. With fewer family members living together and more individuals studying or working away from home, people are compelled to rely less on family support networks and develop independence.
For example
, students studying abroad often manage their finances, accommodation, and daily routines independently, fostering self-reliance and adaptability. In conclusion,
while
there are undeniable instances of increasing interdependence in modern society, the
overall
trajectory leans towards greater individual independence. Advances in technology, education,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
mobility, and many other changes have empowered individuals to pursue their ambitions and navigate life with greater autonomy.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially when discussing the independence of individuals. For instance, mention technological tools that enhance autonomy.
coherence cohesion
Work on more varied sentence structures and linking words to enhance coherence. Introducing contrasting viewpoints within paragraphs could make your arguments more dynamic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, providing a clear overview of the essay's direction and summing up your arguments well.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, which is good practice in IELTS writing.
task achievement
The use of the COVID-19 pandemic as an example of global interdependence was a strong and relevant choice.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!