It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
now competitive with large supermarkets and online shopping is quite concerning.
This
Linking Words
problem relates to the development of technology and human needs but can be solved by applying advertisements around the area. The
underoot
Correct your spelling
underlying
reason
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the issue is that
people
Use synonyms
nowadays require more high-quality
products
Use synonyms
and the changes in the way they buy things. Because of the hustle and bustle of life,
people
Use synonyms
now appreciate fast and convenient services.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would spend more time at home seeking the stuff they need, which is available on online shopping platforms.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are various high-completed goods in large supermarkets, where they can come and give their choices.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the amount of customers in local shops decreases, which
then
Linking Words
creates some obstacles for the local community.
For instance
Linking Words
, most Vietnamese
people
Use synonyms
would rather
than using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Shoppee or Lazada for their deliveries
instead
Linking Words
of going to any particular shops in the area.
However
Linking Words
, the problem can be addressed if the retailers apply advertising programs
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
products
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
the fact that young
people
Use synonyms
pay more attention to strange kinds of stuff which belong to a famous brand.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is difficult to compete with these well-known items, but it would be more effective to enhance their retail skills to attract more consumers.
This
Linking Words
job could be done by pasting some posters advertising the
products
Use synonyms
on the roads and corners of streets. In fact, many small businesses take advantage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
TikTok, using
this
Linking Words
streaming platform to popularize their works, which gives them enormous increases in profits. In conclusion, local sales can depend on the power of social media applications to bring their
products
Use synonyms
to
people
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
direction could help them rival
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
large
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and online shopping.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay answers the question and provides relevant examples, some of the arguments could be expanded further to give a more comprehensive response. For instance, other solutions besides advertising could be mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression is mostly maintained; however, linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to connect ideas and improve flow.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies the problem and provides a potential solution, thus showing a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader follow the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: