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Writing Samples
Band 4

Studying for the Ielts test can be stressful and overwhelming. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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The writer of
this
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 essay argues that
the
Change preposition
with the
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 balance of some subjects
by
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apply
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students can not focus on
IELTS
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 class. It has a vast effect on children to get balance in studying.
In other words
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, pupils spend most of their time on main subjects so they do not care much about
IELTS
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. Leading to the consequence that when the test comes nearly, they would take their time to review and practice.
Moreover
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, it makes it hard to get high scores and feel exhausted. Another negative aspect of studying for
IELTS
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 is the lack of concentration in class. A major drawback is that some students can not focus, may fall behind in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 as well and face peer pressure, which could possibly drain their self-confidence.
In addition
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, high school seniors can lose momentum, finding it hard to resume their education because of their deficiency of knowledge. On a more profound level, studying for the
IELTS
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 test can help students have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to get a good job. Today, the usefulness of a college degree in job seeking is a questionable disservice.
Therefore
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, if everyone is entitled to a university education, it is no longer feasible for them to find a job, with the acquisition of an
IELTS
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 degree.
However
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,
this
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 may be true but it is always difficult for children to overcome some obstacles. In conclusion, some disadvantages
are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
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 the advantages that children need to balance in some subjects and can not pay attention to another class.
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Introduction
Try to provide a clear introduction that directly responds to the essay question, stating whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This will make your position clear from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and clearly, using paragraphs to separate different points.
Language Use
Use more varied and complex sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas clearly and persuasively.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that examples or explanations provided directly support your arguments regarding the advantages or disadvantages.
Argument Development
Work on developing a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion that reflects your overall view. This is crucial for fully addressing the task.
Content
You've made an effort to examine both the positive and negative aspects of studying for the IELTS, which is the right approach for this type of essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion attempts to summarize your view, showing an understanding of the need to conclude your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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