Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
temporary
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recent
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days, with the era of high technological
development
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and industrial revolution,..
children
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watching TV is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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concerned
on
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apply
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the populations from different parts of the world. The vast majority debated that
television
Use synonyms
programmes have
negative
Add an article
a negative
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impact on youngster
while
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others believe that it is positive for their
development
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.
This
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author
agrues
Correct your spelling
argues
agrees
that
televison
Correct your spelling
television
will bring
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
for
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on
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Use synonyms
children
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children's
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development
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comprehensive.
This
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essay will give both
benefit
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benefits
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and
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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for
this
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issue. There are several benefits that come from watching
television
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.
Firstly
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,
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video
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a video
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programme is an informative
and
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apply
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learning tool which can help
children
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to be more creative and familiar with words.
Secondly
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,
television
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also
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contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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study
stratergies
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strategies
that can help
leaner
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learners
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
be
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more enjoyable
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational cartoons.
For instance
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,
according to
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a study
that
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apply
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compared
with
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apply
show examples
children
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under 10 years old watching
televisions
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television
show examples
and
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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who
are
Verb problem
have
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not watching
vide
Correct your spelling
video
show examples
pramme
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games
for a long
time
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period. There is a wide difference
that
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in that
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they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
community ability and less imagination which can help them in the future.
Thus
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, watching
video
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programmes
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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educational for
children
Use synonyms
's
development
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.
However
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, watching
television
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can have a big impact on
cild
Correct your spelling
child
psychology. In fact, there are many
programme
Change to a plural noun
programmes
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that
include
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includes
show examples
violence,
drugs
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and drugs
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,.. which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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unsuitale
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unsuitable
suitable
for kids and
it
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apply
show examples
can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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to
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apply
show examples
their mindset of
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Additionally
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, watching
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video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
in
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for
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a long period can lead to some health problems which can change their lifestyle, they will become passive and
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
and less doing exercise.
Moreover
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, viewing can waste
time
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for learning or doing homework and can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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achieve low
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. It can be true that watching
television
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is wasting reading
time
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but it can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
by the controlling of adults and the
tim
Correct your spelling
time
limited.
This
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author
beleives
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believes
that it is necessary for kids to
Add a missing verb
be entertainment
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entertainment
Replace the word
entertained
show examples
and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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through the image of
video
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clips that include knowledge.
Furthermore
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, watching
televions
Correct your spelling
television
televisions
can help them to catch the era with a
comprhensive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
development
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in both mental and physical health. In conclusion, viewing
tevlevision
Correct your spelling
television
can be
determinal
Correct your spelling
detrimental
for
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
it can be
control
Wrong verb form
controlled
show examples
under supervision and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
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limited.
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grammar spelling
Improve grammar and spelling. Errors such as 'cild psychology', 'vide pramme', and 'stratergies' detract from the readability.
example detail
Provide specific examples and more supporting details for the arguments presented. For instance, elaborate on the study referenced in the second paragraph to give it more credibility.
clarity
Clarify your main argument in the introduction. The phrase 'This author argues that television will bring bad effect for children development comprehensive' is awkwardly phrased.
sentence structure
Improve sentence structure to enhance coherence. Use more connectors and transitions between ideas to make the essay flow better.
introduction
The introduction presents a good understanding of the topic and outlines the two main opposing views clearly.
balance
An effort was made to consider both sides of the argument, showing an attempt to provide a balanced discussion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the points made and offers a personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
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