Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #tv #children #effects

temporary

Correct word choice

recent

show examples

days, with the era of high technological

development

and industrial revolution,..

children

watching TV is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

concerned

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the populations from different parts of the world. The vast majority debated that

television

programmes have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on youngster

while

others believe that it is positive for their

development

This

author

agrues

Correct your spelling

argues

agrees

that

televison

Correct your spelling

television

will bring

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

development

comprehensive.

This

essay will give both

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

and

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

for

this

issue. There are several benefits that come from watching

television

Firstly

video

Correct article usage

a video

show examples

programme is an informative

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

learning tool which can help

children

to be more creative and familiar with words.

Secondly

television

also

contribute

Change the verb form

contributes

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

study

stratergies

Correct your spelling

strategies

that can help

leaner

Correct your spelling

learners

show examples

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

more enjoyable

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

educational cartoons.

For instance

according to

a study

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

compared

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

under 10 years old watching

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

and

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

who

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

not watching

vide

Correct your spelling

video

show examples

pramme

Correct your spelling

games

for a long

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

period. There is a wide difference

that

Change preposition

in that

show examples

they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

community ability and less imagination which can help them in the future.

Thus

, watching

video

programmes

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

educational for

children

development

However

, watching

television

can have a big impact on

cild

Correct your spelling

child

psychology. In fact, there are many

programme

Change to a plural noun

programmes

show examples

that

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

violence,

drugs

Correct word choice

and drugs

show examples

,.. which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

unsuitale

Correct your spelling

unsuitable

suitable

for kids and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their mindset of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Additionally

, watching

video

Fix the agreement mistake

videos

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

a long period can lead to some health problems which can change their lifestyle, they will become passive and

introvert

Replace the word

introverted

show examples

and less doing exercise.

Moreover

, viewing can waste

time

for learning or doing homework and can easily

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

achieve low

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

. It can be true that watching

television

is wasting reading

time

but it can

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

by the controlling of adults and the

tim

Correct your spelling

time

limited.

This

author

beleives

Correct your spelling

believes

that it is necessary for kids to

Add a missing verb

be entertainment

show examples

entertainment

Replace the word

entertained

show examples

and

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

through the image of

video

clips that include knowledge.

Furthermore

, watching

televions

Correct your spelling

television

televisions

can help them to catch the era with a

comprhensive

Correct your spelling

comprehensive

development

in both mental and physical health. In conclusion, viewing

tevlevision

Correct your spelling

television

can be

determinal

Correct your spelling

detrimental

for

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

but

Change the capitalization

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

it can be

control

Wrong verb form

controlled

show examples

under supervision and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

limited.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu May 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar spelling

Improve grammar and spelling. Errors such as 'cild psychology', 'vide pramme', and 'stratergies' detract from the readability.

example detail

Provide specific examples and more supporting details for the arguments presented. For instance, elaborate on the study referenced in the second paragraph to give it more credibility.

clarity

Clarify your main argument in the introduction. The phrase 'This author argues that television will bring bad effect for children development comprehensive' is awkwardly phrased.

sentence structure

Improve sentence structure to enhance coherence. Use more connectors and transitions between ideas to make the essay flow better.

introduction

The introduction presents a good understanding of the topic and outlines the two main opposing views clearly.

balance

An effort was made to consider both sides of the argument, showing an attempt to provide a balanced discussion.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the points made and offers a personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary behavior
unrealistic perceptions
creative pursuits
social development
emotional development
constructive content
screen time
parental guidance
critical thinking
active learning
age-appropriate
media literacy
family bonding
moderation
perceive

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?
In recent times, social media applications have increased and has allowed individuals to express frustration and comment widely. This essay will first suggest that this problem can result in controversy among people, followed by addressing the improvement of person’s skills.
<4
band
Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although it is sometimes thought that childchildren ought to do extra curricularactivities after school,other people believe that such activities can lead children to be under pressure. In my opinion, I consider that extracurricular activities may put children under stress.
8
band
The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In the contemporary era of globalization, remarkable shifts are occurring across various facets of life, including fashion, entertainment, cuisine, and lifestyle habits. While some perceive these trends as fostering a sense of global unity and equality, others argue that they lead to the erosion of cultural diversity and local traditions. In my opinion, while globalization presents undeniable advantages in fostering interconnectedness and reducing prejudice, its drawbacks cannot be overlooked.
6
band
Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that criminal occasions can be reduced by providing extended prison sentences, while others assume that an alternative path of decreasing criminal events will be more effective. The following essay takes a look at the both sides of the argument.
7.5
band
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Hosting international sports events is a topic that sparks debate, with divergent opinions on its overall impact on a country. Some argue that such events bring numerous benefits, contributing positively to the nation, while others contend that they are a drain on resources. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives and present my own view on the matter.

Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.