Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school?

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the function of extra classes after school. Now
people
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are beginning to realize that education is extremely crucial for society. Personally, I tend to think that courses are beneficial for children.
Firstly
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, it is well-known that in every field you should have knowledge, and
consequently
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,
people
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should build basic knowledge in every field in their early days. One of the main
reason
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reasons
show examples
behind
that is
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after graduation they have to have activities that, they did during the school term. A good case in point is if they learning biology, it does not mean that mathematics will not be necessary in
people
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's future.
On the other hand
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, it can
also
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be argued that most children are addicted to phones and the Internet at the present time.
That is
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to say, their brain should exercise and train it
while
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studying something. Take,
for example
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, after school they have an amount of free time, and
instead
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of lying or surfing the Internet, they can go to courses and improve their knowledge. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that extra classes are extremely useful and worthwhile things for children.
Moreover
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,
people
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have to develop their wisdom and study all life.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Although your introduction sets up the issue and presents your viewpoint, it could be more strongly stated. Try to frame a clear thesis statement that encapsulates your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some points are somewhat confusing due to grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. To improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Supporting points should be expanded upon more. For example, the paragraph about addiction to phones and the Internet could include more detail or examples involving specific studies or statistics to back up your assertion.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and engages with multiple perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your argument for extra classes.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reinforce learning
  • personalized attention
  • student-to-teacher ratios
  • comprehensive coverage
  • academic and non-academic subjects
  • well-rounded development
  • address specific weaknesses
  • grade improvement
  • performance in exams
  • leisure time
  • burnout
  • educational opportunities
  • socio-economic disparity
  • over-scheduling
  • balanced approach
  • after-school programs
  • weekend tutoring
  • additional practice
  • constructive criticism
  • holistic growth
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