In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #classes #development

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few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

nations, many individuals have started preferring personal

fitness

Use synonyms

coach

Fix the agreement mistake

coaches

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of joining group sports or exercise

academy

Fix the agreement mistake

academies

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay delves into the possible causes behind

this

Linking Words

trend and discusses why

this

Linking Words

is a beneficial situation.

To begin

Linking Words

, the chief reason that has created

this

Linking Words

development would be the hectic life schedule that

people

Use synonyms

have these days.

Due to

Linking Words

increased inflation and rising competition, employees spend more time at

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, their timing may not match with the group exercise classes.

Hence

Linking Words

, they prefer personalised classes. To illustrate, a recent news article revealed that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

work at multiple jobs to cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with the high cost of living.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, affluent

people

Use synonyms

prefer personalised services compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular ones. These individuals have a more sophisticated approach towards every aspect of life, including

fitness

Use synonyms

According to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

development.

Firstly

Linking Words

, as personal trainer charges more fees compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular ones, trainees are more committed towards achieving their goals.

Also

Linking Words

, trainees are more attentive towards each aspect of their

fitness

Use synonyms

journey, like following the prescribed diet plan strictly, as they have to report their progress on a weekly basis to their coach.

For example

Linking Words

, as per a survey conducted by a renowned organisation, individuals who hired personal trainers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

showed more fruitful results compared to those who joined exercise classes.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend has created job opportunities for

people

Use synonyms

who are

fitness

Use synonyms

enthusiasts. Not only can they keep themselves

health

Replace the word

healthy

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, but can

also

Linking Words

generate a stable source of income.

To conclude

Linking Words

, several factors are responsible for trainees hiring personal

trainer

Fix the agreement mistake

trainers

show examples

and

this

Linking Words

change has brought about a positive impact

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Submitted by niravfb1987 on Thu May 09 2024

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development of ideas

Remember to expand on examples by providing clear and specific details that directly support your main points. While your examples were supportive, adding more depth would enhance their impact and clarify their relevance further.

linkage

To maintain coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas even more smoothly within and between paragraphs.

task response

Effectively addressed both parts of the question (reasons and assessment as positive/negative) with a clear stance.

structure

Structured essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

examples

Provided relevant examples to support main ideas, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

personalized workout plans
tailored
efficient
awareness
physical health
motivation
guidance
convenience
flexibility
exclusivity
status symbol
inaccessible
community engagement
social interaction
health outcomes
personal achievement
health-conscious

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

TOO MUCH EMPHASIS IS GIVEN FOR EDUCATION OF THE YOUNG . MORE GOVERNMENT MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT TO FREE TIME ACTIVITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?