In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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Countries with

higher

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a higher

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portion of elderly

people

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have their own perks.

The

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show examples

further

Linking Words

explanation

about

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this

Linking Words

statement will be presented in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

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, there are some advantages of having more elderly

people

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For example

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, the institution will build more infrastructures for the old ones,

such

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as public

transportations

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transportation

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, health facilities, and parks.

This

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will

not

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be not

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only

beneficial

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apply

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for the elderly but

also

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all

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for all

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people

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in those states

are

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to be

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able to use the same amenities since there is no limitation rule.

Secondly

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, the other positive impact is young

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people

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people's

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awareness to look after their grandmothers or grandfathers will increase because they just simply love them and are not willing to escort them into nursing

house

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homes

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. Actually, it is

such

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heart-warming

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heartwarming

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situation.

As a result

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, the happiness index of the

people

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will rise and the stress level will decrease.

On the other hand

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, nations with the

the

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apply

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majority of

population

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the population

show examples

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are

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elderly will probably experience an uneven population distribution that leads

into

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sluggish growth of population and

lack

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a lack

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of productive

people

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Consequently

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, these unproductive

people

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will become a burden for their

family

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families

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since they are not producing money anymore, except for those who still accept salary for their retirement.

That is

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why

this

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situation should be prepared by the government. The institution needs to make a clear rule that

guaranteed

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guarantees

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its

citizen

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citizens

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lives remain stable

although

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they have elderly to take care of. In conclusion, happiness is above everything. As long as the

people

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of those countries feel happy taking care of the elderly, the burden that has been stated before is easily diminished.

Submitted by srsdy008 on Thu May 09 2024

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Introduction

Try to offer a clearer introduction that outlines your essay’s main points and stance more clearly. A brief mention of both the advantages and disadvantages in the introduction could provide a more comprehensive overview.

Use of Examples

Incorporate more specific examples to support your points effectively. While you mentioned increased infrastructure and heightened family care, detailing real-world applications or statistical evidence could enhance your argument.

Argument Balance

Work on developing a more balanced argument by exploring the disadvantages in greater depth. This would involve not just stating the problems but also discussing their implications and potential solutions.

Conclusion

Ensure the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments of the essay. While the conclusion mentions happiness, it could be strengthened by briefly reiterating key points.

Engagement

Engaged with the topic and presented a viewpoint regarding the advantages of an ageing population.

Structure

Successfully structured with a basic introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Language Use

Good use of language to express ideas and maintain the reader's interest.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think that qualities a person needs to become succesfull in today's world cannot be learned at university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?