IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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Global
hunger
 is worsening at an unprecedented rate. Even though there are some developments
to
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in
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 the production and distribution of
foods
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food
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, it seems that they are not enough to reduce the rate of people who suffer from
hunger
.
This
 essay will discuss the causes of global
hunger
 and what can be done to help. The most influential reasons for global
hunger
,
in
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apply
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which technology cannot totally prevent, are natural disasters and geopolitical risks,
such
 as climate change, floods,
earthquake
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earthquakes
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, war and conflict. Natural disasters cause
an
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instability in an area, causing livestock crisis
as a consequence
 of soaring temperatures and shifting patterns of rainfalls.
In addition
, wars and conflicts negatively impact the infrastructure of the market and transportation route
while
 simultaneously
cause
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causing
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 people to lose their jobs, income and houses. In
respond
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response
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 to the above causes, I believe the fastest and most impactful thing to do is for both the
government
 and
the
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apply
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society
 to help
through
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by
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 establishing humanitarian aid service
post
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posts
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. On the
government
 side, it should set aside
substantial
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a substantial
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 amount of its national budget to purchase livestock and distribute it to the remote areas.
Additionally
, as a part of the
society
, people can
also
 establish their own private service post and gather funds from all across
region
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the region
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 to be
then
 distributed as
foods
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food
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, livestock,
as well as
 sanitation and hygiene products. With assistance from both
government
 and private sectors, the process will be faster and the impact can be felt directly by the affected
society
. In summary, I believe that
two
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the two
show examples
 main causes of global
hunger
 are natural disasters and geopolitical risks, and I believe both
government
 and
society
 have to go hand in hand in managing the situation to prevent
further
damages
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damage
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 to the affected
society
.
Submitted by sormindevina on

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coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Consider expanding on each point with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You've addressed the task directly, offering clear causes of global hunger along with possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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