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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

#countries #animals #plants
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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that there is a deterioration in the number of
animals
 and
plants
 in various nations. To some extent, I would contend that there are abundant justifications, followed by some equivalent effective solutions to
this
 severe
problem
. Without a shadow of a doubt, there is a myriad of reasons for the decline in the population of
animals
 and
plants
.
This
 is owing to the fact that the Earth faces
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
climate changes. Specifically, our planet is
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 hotter in
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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some ice areas may be melted so that polar bears
for instance
 can not accustomed to that place.
Moreover
,
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
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 kinds of flora and fauna are on the verge of extinction
due to
 the greenhouse effect and contaminated pollution.
Therefore
, abundant justifications can be illustrated for the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
animals
 and
plants
 in over the world
While
 there are some causes
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 dwindling the number of
animals
 and
plants
, there are some far-reaching solutions for
this
 dire
problem
. The government should conduct some policies
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to
preservation
Add an article
the preservation
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 of the environment,
encourage
Correct word choice
and encourage
show examples
 people to raise their awareness of protecting the common natural habitat not only to enhance people’s lives but
also
protect
Fix the infinitive
to protect
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animals’
Correct your spelling
animals
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 and
plants
Change noun form
plants'
plant's
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 living space. To be more specific, people can cut down on
carbon
Correct pronoun usage
their carbon
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 footprint by switching to
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
 environmentally-friendly
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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such
 as bicycles, buses or products and materials namely tote bags, paper bags and so on.
Hence
,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 decreasing
animals
 and
plants
, there are more ways to hinder
this
 serious
problem
. In conclusion, there is a steady stream of causes that lead to the decline in the proportion of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 and
plants
.
However
, there are ample solutions
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be given to handle
this
 alarming
problem
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Support and Example
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and make your essay more impactful.
Grammar and Complexity
Review your essay for any grammatical errors and aim to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability and expression.
Elaboration and Depth
While you've made an effort to outline solutions, further exploration and detail on how these could be implemented or their potential impact would add depth to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are well-organized and each idea flows logically to the next with appropriate use of transitional phrases.
Topic Relevance
You've effectively addressed the main topic and provided relevant reasons and solutions, showing a good understanding of the essay question.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-written, effectively framing the essay and summarizing your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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