IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for research. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #animals #rights #humans #research
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To begin
, there
an
Add a missing verb
is an
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argue
Replace the word
argument
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 between
a
Correct article usage
apply
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society, because some believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals
 must
Add a missing verb
be traited
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traited
Correct your spelling
treated
trained
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
a humans
Correct the article-noun agreement
humans
a human
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,on the other side of the argument lies the opposing viewpoint that
the
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apply
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animals
shuold
Correct your spelling
should
used
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be used
show examples
 in various ways
of
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to
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 help people, these issues have been argued extensively.
Thus
 in
this
 essay , the benefits and drawbacks of both mentioned views are comprehensively investigated. on the one hand , some of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 believe that
the
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apply
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animals
 should have
an
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apply
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animals
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animal's
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 rights
as well as
humans
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human
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 rights. Honestly, it provides benefits.
first,
it will drastic in increase
in
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apply
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the number of
kill
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kills
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, especially, the rare
animals
,
secondly
, it
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 the health of the
animals
,
lastly
Correct word choice
and lastly
show examples
, prevents harming
animals
.Notwithstanding , there are some negatives,
for instance
 , the original source of food , travel and life
practiece
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
 natural will be missed.
on the other hand
, others argue that the
animals
 should
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be trated
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trated
Correct your spelling
treated
 in another way,
more
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with more
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 specification ,
use
Correct word choice
and use
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animals
as well as
beniefit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
such
 as medical research, nutrition, police needs,
travels
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travel
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 and other goals.
However
, the biggest downside of it is the destroyed the
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
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 kingdom,
for instance
, some people take
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
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 of
the
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apply
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chicken
a way
Correct your spelling
away
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 from
nature
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natural
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 place and
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
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 them,
additionally
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and additionally
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, injected medically. To summarize all of my perspectives and after analysing both sides of the argument , I am of the opinion that
the
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apply
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animals
 should be used for various
needed
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needs
show examples
.Our society will be a better place for everyone ,especially, when know the
different
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difference
show examples
 between humans and
animals
.
Submitted by x.ra5eelah on

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Structure
Consider organizing your essay more clearly with introductory sentences that outline your main ideas, followed by paragraphs that expand on these ideas with specific examples or evidence.
Language Use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more precisely and naturally. This can also help in making your argument more persuasive.
Clarity of Position
Ensure your stance or opinion is clear throughout the essay, especially in the conclusion. This helps the reader understand your viewpoint after considering both sides of the argument.
Grammar & Spelling
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to avoid mistakes that can make your text harder to understand. Frequent errors can distract from your message.
Task Response
You've successfully discussed both viewpoints on animal rights and their use by humans, which addresses the prompt.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly states your opinion, providing closure to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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