Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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the 21st century, technological development in computer systems is ever-increasing. Many sectors

such

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as communication, medicine and transportation highly depend on

this

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technology. Some believe that dependence on

such

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computer technology has led to dangerous situations. I agree with

this

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statement and facts related to my view will be discussed.

Firstly

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, in order to run these computer-aided platforms, the availability of electricity is a must in most cases. but, there can be some unexpected power failures that can cause malfunctioning of connected devices.

This

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can lead to bad consequences in fields

such

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as communication, medicine and transport because these systems transfer data via the Internet.

For instance

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, a Patient can die in a hospital if he is given the wrong medicine because of

such

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issues. On top of that, users of some of these services might have to face severe life threats as their privacy can be disclosed in society.

For example

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, it is a simple task for hackers and dark website developers to sneak into online facilitated devices and hack the data.

Moreover

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, information can be changed

according to

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their need.

As a result

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of these actions, the accuracy of the data will be lost and

this

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can lead to an increase in roadside accidents as most of these routes are signalized at junctions. In conclusion,

although

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there are a lot of benefits of advancements in computer-based technology for individuals, it is not wise to rely solely on these programming methods. Expertise needs to find some alternative ways to ensure the security and preciseness of these programmes.

wm.asanka.sandaruwanFri May 10 2024

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General advice

Continue to structure your essays as you've done here, addressing the prompt fully while using a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This enhances the essay's accessibility and comprehension.

Task Achievement

To improve, try deepening the analysis of your examples. Explain how the examples support your argument in more depth. While you've provided relevant examples, adding more analysis could enhance the overall impact.

Coherence and Cohesion

It's beneficial to ensure the transition between paragraphs and ideas is smooth. You've done well with this, but further refinement in linking sentences more explicitly can increase coherence. This helps in making your argumentation even more persuasive.

Structure

Excellent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion

Use of Examples

Effective use of examples to support your points

Relevance

Good job maintaining focus on the topic throughout the essay without drifting off-topic

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

reliance
cybersecurity
over-reliance
digital divide
data breach
cyberbullying
diagnostic machines
electronic health records
automated vehicles
predictive maintenance
real-time monitoring
vulnerability
misinformation
hacking
efficiency
navigation systems
traditional skills
system failures

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Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sport centre now and how it will look after redevelopment Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars, buses, trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?