Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benfits indivuduals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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How to use
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the right way is a difficult issue worldwide. It is the opinion of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

writer that it is better to spend
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on society rather than university education because of life service and relief
stress
Change preposition
of stress

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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. It is vital to understand that putting all of their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will not
assist
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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too much effect.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fact that today everything prices
are
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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increased sharply,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of living is expensive.
As a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will become frustrated and starved and
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

give up their
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies

It seems that study may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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at school.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a plan of allowing
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

using
Change the verb form
to use

Using doesn’t seem to work here.

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their expense
affectively
Correct your spelling
effectively

The word affectively doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is an advisable course of action. Another key component of the case for spending on society is
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the entertainment to
relief
Replace the word
relieve

The word relief doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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stress. It should be self-evident that higher achieving
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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more pressure on their
mental
Replace the word
minds

The word mental doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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at
faster
Add an article
a faster

The noun phrase faster pace seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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pace. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation, some
sutdents
Correct your spelling
students

If you don’t want sutdents to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

will have
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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solution to
relaxing
Change the form of the verb
relax

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb relaxing. Consider changing it.

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their mind. It must
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be noted that studying
along
Correct your spelling
alone

The word along doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in
day
Correct article usage
the day

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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would cause emotional difficulty.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen that the
paid
Replace the word
pay

The word paid doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of society for
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are valid
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument

It seems that arguments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for individuals to consider,
there fore
Correct your spelling
therefore

The word there fore seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, it would have been demonstrated that
ability
Correct article usage
the ability

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tyo
Correct your spelling
to

If you don’t want tyo to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

higher
Add a missing verb
is base
show examples
Add a missing verb
is base

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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base
Replace the word
based
show examples
on how
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

planned
Wrong verb form
plan

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb planned. Consider changing it.

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to spend
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on relieving
stressed
Replace the word
stress

The word stressed doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb buy. Consider changing it.

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other
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things

It seems that thing may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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support for their
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and life services.
Submitted by gvlethimyha@gmail.com on

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each part serves its purpose (introducing the topic, detailing the argument, summarizing the point).
Paragraph Focus
Use clearer and more direct topic sentences to start your paragraphs, outlining the main idea you will discuss in that paragraph.
Task Relevance
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question asked. Your arguments should be clearly connected to the statement to which you are responding.
Grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your argument clearer and easier to follow. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.
Supporting Evidence
Consider adding specific examples or evidence to support your points. This makes your argument more convincing and robust.
Original Thought
You've introduced a unique perspective on the importance of distributing funds for societal benefits over individual study costs.
Critical Thinking
You convey a clear desire to weigh the benefits to society and individuals when considering the allocation of resources.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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